We do not walk alone...
Most importantly the Bible tells us that Jesus calls us to himself. We do not walk alone but God himself walks with us in our pain.
Jesus says:
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)
One way of doing this is by praying and sharing our pain with Jesus.
Below is a Celtic Prayer called "Coping with infertility" and is inspired by the Christian Celtic tradition.
Gracious God, we long for a child and find our hearts shaved of hope
as month after month we go childless.
The love we have to give and share with a child fills us to the brim,
but that love seems thwarted when our longing is not fulfilled.
Look with tenderness on us, O God.
Let the disappointment that hangs over us be lifted by the joy of your touch.
Give us the patience that will re-build hope
as we wait for the fullness of our love in the high calling of parenthood.
We ask this for the sake of your love. Amen
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Hannah
Hannah's Story
Hannah is perhaps best known for her struggle with infertility.
The book of 1 Samuel begins with the verses
"1 There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. 2 He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none." (1 Samuel 1:1-2)
I always reflect on what could be worse than feeling you have disappointed your husband by not being able to get pregnant? To be one of your husbands two wives, always being compared to her and her abundance of children. Not only was her husbands other wife extremely fertile; it was not a healthy relationship...
"6 And because the LORD had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. 7 This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. 8 Elkanah her husband would say to her, "Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don't you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?" (1 Samuel 1:6-8)
Yet one thing I love about the image we have of Hannah in the Bible is of her honesty and of her pouring out her pain and heartbreak to God. Rather than become bitter and turn from God she reaches out to him at her time of need and calls on him to answer her prayer.
"10 In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. 11 And she made a vow, saying, "O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head."
12 As she kept on praying to the LORD, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, "How long will you keep on getting drunk? Get rid of your wine."
15 "Not so, my lord," Hannah replied, "I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the LORD. 16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief." (1 Samuel 1:10-16)
And God answers her prayer. And this answer is Samuel, who becomes a famous priest of God.
What does the story of Hannah teach us?
What do we learn from Hannah?
God wants us to turn to him. We don't have to pretend we are without pain, but can give this to God and know that he can answer our prayers.
"In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD."
In Hannah's words - "I am a woman who is deeply troubled... pouring out my soul to the LORD... out of my great anguish and grief." (1 Samuel 1:10-16)
There is no pretense that she is not hurting, not blindly trusting God but really wrestling with the pain of infertility.
I know that I too can take my pain to the creator of the universe and pour out my soul to him.
Hannah is perhaps best known for her struggle with infertility.
The book of 1 Samuel begins with the verses
"1 There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. 2 He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none." (1 Samuel 1:1-2)
I always reflect on what could be worse than feeling you have disappointed your husband by not being able to get pregnant? To be one of your husbands two wives, always being compared to her and her abundance of children. Not only was her husbands other wife extremely fertile; it was not a healthy relationship...
"6 And because the LORD had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. 7 This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. 8 Elkanah her husband would say to her, "Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don't you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?" (1 Samuel 1:6-8)
Yet one thing I love about the image we have of Hannah in the Bible is of her honesty and of her pouring out her pain and heartbreak to God. Rather than become bitter and turn from God she reaches out to him at her time of need and calls on him to answer her prayer.
"10 In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. 11 And she made a vow, saying, "O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head."
12 As she kept on praying to the LORD, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, "How long will you keep on getting drunk? Get rid of your wine."
15 "Not so, my lord," Hannah replied, "I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the LORD. 16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief." (1 Samuel 1:10-16)
And God answers her prayer. And this answer is Samuel, who becomes a famous priest of God.
What does the story of Hannah teach us?
What do we learn from Hannah?
God wants us to turn to him. We don't have to pretend we are without pain, but can give this to God and know that he can answer our prayers.
"In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD."
In Hannah's words - "I am a woman who is deeply troubled... pouring out my soul to the LORD... out of my great anguish and grief." (1 Samuel 1:10-16)
There is no pretense that she is not hurting, not blindly trusting God but really wrestling with the pain of infertility.
I know that I too can take my pain to the creator of the universe and pour out my soul to him.
Sarah
Sarah's Story
the wife of Abraham
Sarah is married to Abraham. She is unable to conceive, although married for many years. Eventually she is not only unable to conceive but beyond childbearing years. (ie she is old as well...)
Ironically she is married to Abraham who has been promised descendants that will number like the stars in the sky and the sand on a beach. A great promise and yet for Abraham and Sarah, the fulfilment seems beyond all reach.
It is at this point that The Lord comes to Abraham once more.
"Then the LORD said, I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son. Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him.
11 Abraham and Sarah were already old and well advanced in years, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing.
12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought,
After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?
13 Then the LORD said to Abraham, Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?'
14 Is anything too hard for the LORD? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son.
And the result??? Not long after this Sarah and Abraham's son Isaac is born, one of the great patriarchs of the Jewish people.
"For nothing is impossible with God" (Luke 1:37)
What does the story of Sarah teach us?
God is faithful to his promises. What he promised to Abraham and Sarah he was faithful in fulfilling. God does not make this exact same promise to each of us but we do learn something else from Sarah's story:
God is the giver of life and he can bring about miracles. We do not know what God may be doing in our lives - even when it seems like he is not doing anything at all.
God can surprise us!
the wife of Abraham
Sarah is married to Abraham. She is unable to conceive, although married for many years. Eventually she is not only unable to conceive but beyond childbearing years. (ie she is old as well...)
Ironically she is married to Abraham who has been promised descendants that will number like the stars in the sky and the sand on a beach. A great promise and yet for Abraham and Sarah, the fulfilment seems beyond all reach.
It is at this point that The Lord comes to Abraham once more.
"Then the LORD said, I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son. Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him.
11 Abraham and Sarah were already old and well advanced in years, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing.
12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought,
After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?
13 Then the LORD said to Abraham, Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?'
14 Is anything too hard for the LORD? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son.
And the result??? Not long after this Sarah and Abraham's son Isaac is born, one of the great patriarchs of the Jewish people.
"For nothing is impossible with God" (Luke 1:37)
What does the story of Sarah teach us?
God is faithful to his promises. What he promised to Abraham and Sarah he was faithful in fulfilling. God does not make this exact same promise to each of us but we do learn something else from Sarah's story:
God is the giver of life and he can bring about miracles. We do not know what God may be doing in our lives - even when it seems like he is not doing anything at all.
God can surprise us!
The Bible and infertility
Yes, even way back then, there was women w/ infertility...
Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Hannah, Elizabeth
Just to name a few...
There are many stories of women in the Bible who struggle with infertility and the pain of not having children.
The Bible not only shares the stories of these "barren women" but also offers hope and comfort during these times.
God indeed is the creator of life and the God of comfort and peace.
I will share some of their stories from the Bible and other verses that offer hope to those who may also consider themselves "barren" today.
But more important than finding out about the stories of these women is the possibility of finding our own hope in this journey; to be encouraged in whatever stage of our journeys we are at.
Check out the next couple of posts about each woman in the Bible....
(no, i didnt write all those-lol. i found all this info online)
Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Hannah, Elizabeth
Just to name a few...
There are many stories of women in the Bible who struggle with infertility and the pain of not having children.
The Bible not only shares the stories of these "barren women" but also offers hope and comfort during these times.
God indeed is the creator of life and the God of comfort and peace.
I will share some of their stories from the Bible and other verses that offer hope to those who may also consider themselves "barren" today.
But more important than finding out about the stories of these women is the possibility of finding our own hope in this journey; to be encouraged in whatever stage of our journeys we are at.
Check out the next couple of posts about each woman in the Bible....
(no, i didnt write all those-lol. i found all this info online)
Monday, January 10, 2011
Introducing.....
Bella Bennett :)
We got her on Sat. She is part black lab (we think, as do our friends we got her from) and a bunch of other dog breeds-HAHA! She has a white chest, and a few white places on her paws (all but 1)
She is a pretty good puppy so far ;-) She is starting to learn to potty outside and when she doesnt go outside, she goes on her puppy pads pretty well. She is only 6 weeks old.
So for now, she's our new baby :)
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
New year, new hope??
Maybe.
I think 2011 will be a very exciting year for Travis and I. We already have great plans in the making.
Travis will continue his other job at Wilkes teaching his night class, and hopefully he will get a job in updating the website for the Farmers Market. We are unsure about that yet.
We will start doing more things w/ the church as we learn and grow (as a big family) We will start meeting in groups, but Im not sure on what nights. Im excited to see what God has in store for us there :) The change has been a good one so far!
We will start doing the foster care classes in the spring, regardless of how things go. I think Id like to have a foster care liscense, whether or not we get pregnant. I think. ;-)
We already have thoughts for our trip this summer, but in order for us to do that, we need money. HAHA. that we dont have right now. I am thinking the beach, for sure. I loved pigeon forge and would love to go back, but I think a beach trip is what I need. Heck, id love to go to Maine, but i dont think that's in the cards for us :)
It will be a different year, but a great year. Hopefully with LESS heartache and more joyous occasions. We shall see.
I cant believe Travis and I will both be 27 this year, Im starting to feel old and Im sure my parents/grandparents are as well. Heck, even my siblings are starting to seem old. In just a few short days, Bobby (my brother) will be 24. See, just seems like yesterday I turned 24!
This will also be a great year, bc in March we will be together for 10 years :-) 10 WONDERFUL years w/ travis. We started dating on March 6, 2001.
In June we will be MARRIED for 5 years :) We got married on June 24, 2006. These 5 years have been the best ever!!!
but sadly, in June it will mark 4 years of us ttc (trying to conceive) God only knows why its taken this long, and we will just live day by day :)
That's about all Ive got coming up. I cant WAIT to see what He has in store for us this coming year, I just know it has to be a good one :)
I think 2011 will be a very exciting year for Travis and I. We already have great plans in the making.
Travis will continue his other job at Wilkes teaching his night class, and hopefully he will get a job in updating the website for the Farmers Market. We are unsure about that yet.
We will start doing more things w/ the church as we learn and grow (as a big family) We will start meeting in groups, but Im not sure on what nights. Im excited to see what God has in store for us there :) The change has been a good one so far!
We will start doing the foster care classes in the spring, regardless of how things go. I think Id like to have a foster care liscense, whether or not we get pregnant. I think. ;-)
We already have thoughts for our trip this summer, but in order for us to do that, we need money. HAHA. that we dont have right now. I am thinking the beach, for sure. I loved pigeon forge and would love to go back, but I think a beach trip is what I need. Heck, id love to go to Maine, but i dont think that's in the cards for us :)
It will be a different year, but a great year. Hopefully with LESS heartache and more joyous occasions. We shall see.
I cant believe Travis and I will both be 27 this year, Im starting to feel old and Im sure my parents/grandparents are as well. Heck, even my siblings are starting to seem old. In just a few short days, Bobby (my brother) will be 24. See, just seems like yesterday I turned 24!
This will also be a great year, bc in March we will be together for 10 years :-) 10 WONDERFUL years w/ travis. We started dating on March 6, 2001.
In June we will be MARRIED for 5 years :) We got married on June 24, 2006. These 5 years have been the best ever!!!
but sadly, in June it will mark 4 years of us ttc (trying to conceive) God only knows why its taken this long, and we will just live day by day :)
That's about all Ive got coming up. I cant WAIT to see what He has in store for us this coming year, I just know it has to be a good one :)
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
uh... duh..
(those are the words that come to mind when I stare at this page-haha)
So... I know, I know, I have been a bad blogger. In all honsety-Idk what to write. I have sat here numerous times and just looked at this trying to think of what to type here.
And it came to me...
Its my blog, my thoughts, my rants, my wants, my hopes and my fears, so I can write whatever I dang well please :)
Soo... since Christmas is in a couple of days. I thought Id write about what my family is doing for Christmas/New Years this year.
For Christmas Eve Travis and I are going to his parents house and we eat a Brunch there. Then we are headed to church around 6 and do a communion service there. Then we head to my parents and we have a seafood dinner :) YUM. i cant wait!!! Then we head home. On Christmas day we are supposed to have breakfast at our house, but not if we dont get any propane before then(we are almost out-on the red) Then we will hang around the house a while and then off to my parents for Lasagna. :) YUM. The day after we do the Gilley Christmas get-together. It will be a fun, and tiring day.
This Christmas is a little harder for me. I have lost somthing very precious to me that I cant get back-i have lost my baby. I know that he is up in Heaven w/ God and just having a grand ol time w/ all his friends and causing tons of trouble. But I want my baby here on earth w/ me. I want him to be growing in me, bc that's where he was supposed to be. I know that God needed him more than I do-so I will have to just let that fact go... my baby is gone. (and no, I didnt know the gender of my baby-but I have always felt that I would have a boy first.)
Im praying hard for a Christmas/New Years miracle (hint hint), and our baby will be just that-a miracle. I know ALL babies are miracles, but ours will really be one. 1) I dont ovulate, 2)I have endometriosis, 3) I have a hostile cervix and that kills off all sperm that enter, 4) We have been trying for 4 years (almost) and have never gotten pregnant naturally-or "un-natural" for that matter. It will really be a true miracle from God if I were to get pregnant "on my own". and who knows how my body will handle a pregnancy.... we'll see and we will leave it all up to God when the time comes, if the time comes. But im really praying and trusting God for one. (hint hint)
We are still undecided about what to do next and when. We have enough meds for one more, and final, IUI so we might do that in the spring. We are also wanting to persue foster care/adoption.. so we might start those classes in the spring as well. right now, Im at the stage where "ah well, whatever happens,.., nothing has happend yet" that kind of stage. Lol. is there such a thing?? So just keep praying for us that our miracle will be brought to us in such a surprise that I wont even know how to contain myself but w/ prayer-and of course, TONS of tears! Lol.
Okay, I know you have read enough and heard enough of my rants, but like I said.. its my blog-I can say what I want and you can choose to read it or not. :)
So... I know, I know, I have been a bad blogger. In all honsety-Idk what to write. I have sat here numerous times and just looked at this trying to think of what to type here.
And it came to me...
Its my blog, my thoughts, my rants, my wants, my hopes and my fears, so I can write whatever I dang well please :)
Soo... since Christmas is in a couple of days. I thought Id write about what my family is doing for Christmas/New Years this year.
For Christmas Eve Travis and I are going to his parents house and we eat a Brunch there. Then we are headed to church around 6 and do a communion service there. Then we head to my parents and we have a seafood dinner :) YUM. i cant wait!!! Then we head home. On Christmas day we are supposed to have breakfast at our house, but not if we dont get any propane before then(we are almost out-on the red) Then we will hang around the house a while and then off to my parents for Lasagna. :) YUM. The day after we do the Gilley Christmas get-together. It will be a fun, and tiring day.
This Christmas is a little harder for me. I have lost somthing very precious to me that I cant get back-i have lost my baby. I know that he is up in Heaven w/ God and just having a grand ol time w/ all his friends and causing tons of trouble. But I want my baby here on earth w/ me. I want him to be growing in me, bc that's where he was supposed to be. I know that God needed him more than I do-so I will have to just let that fact go... my baby is gone. (and no, I didnt know the gender of my baby-but I have always felt that I would have a boy first.)
Im praying hard for a Christmas/New Years miracle (hint hint), and our baby will be just that-a miracle. I know ALL babies are miracles, but ours will really be one. 1) I dont ovulate, 2)I have endometriosis, 3) I have a hostile cervix and that kills off all sperm that enter, 4) We have been trying for 4 years (almost) and have never gotten pregnant naturally-or "un-natural" for that matter. It will really be a true miracle from God if I were to get pregnant "on my own". and who knows how my body will handle a pregnancy.... we'll see and we will leave it all up to God when the time comes, if the time comes. But im really praying and trusting God for one. (hint hint)
We are still undecided about what to do next and when. We have enough meds for one more, and final, IUI so we might do that in the spring. We are also wanting to persue foster care/adoption.. so we might start those classes in the spring as well. right now, Im at the stage where "ah well, whatever happens,.., nothing has happend yet" that kind of stage. Lol. is there such a thing?? So just keep praying for us that our miracle will be brought to us in such a surprise that I wont even know how to contain myself but w/ prayer-and of course, TONS of tears! Lol.
Okay, I know you have read enough and heard enough of my rants, but like I said.. its my blog-I can say what I want and you can choose to read it or not. :)
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