Your weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning!
Isaiah 61:3
How good is this “Good Friday” for you?
While the whole world dons new Easter outfits, you find yourself wrapped in different garments. Garments of frustration. Garments of despair. What’s so good about “Good Friday”?
As you examine your own situation, ponder that first, most important, Easter weekend.
Perhaps you are like the disciples were that day. Can you imagine their thoughts? Of course you can. “How can this be happening? How can I possibly surrender the one I love to death? How can I go on without Him? Why couldn’t things have worked out another way?”
The hearts of the disciples broke as they found themselves wrapped in the garment of tears, sewn for them by sorrow’s hand. You may know the feeling. The knot in the back of your throat that chokes your words and fills your mouth with sobs before you even know what happened. Can you relate to these broken men? What was so good about their “Good Friday”? What’s so good about yours?
If we could only reach back in time to tell the disciples to hold on! The greatest tragedy they had ever witnessed was actually the central event of mankind!
Perhaps you are more like the women who went to the tomb to take care of Jesus’ body. Perhaps you are waiting for life to spring forth from a dead womb. The garments of confusion must have nearly choked the life out of them. They searched for life in a tomb. You search for life in a womb. They knew what waiting felt like. So do you! Don’t you know that each step they took toward the tomb that day must have felt like a mile. Just like every month you wait for that baby feels like a year.
Oh, if we could reach back in time and speak to them! A miracle is coming, Martha! Don’t give up! Hold on to your hope, Mary! Things haven’t happened the way you had planned, but you’re gonna love what God is doing!
Before many days passed, things were going to change! These heartbroken, confused men and women would see Jesus triumph over death, hell and the grave! Before many days passed, they would peer gap-jawed into a tomb emptied by the resurrection power of God! Before many days passed, they would see the scars in His hand, feet and side. Before many days passed, He would stand before them, and everything would make sense.
They just had to get through “Good Friday”.
I wonder how many times the angels assigned to their care must have whispered the words God whispered to David’s soul: weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning! (Psalm 30:5). Maybe they heard the angels whispering as leaves were blown along the ground when they sat up all night, confused and heartsick. Another tear fell. Your weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning! Another hour passed, another question unanswered. Your weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning!
When that first Easter Sunday morning finally came, the whole world was changed. Death was conquered! Satan whimpered in defeat! The Son of God really was who He said He was!
As you face your own “Good Friday”, tune your ear to the conversation in the heavenlies. Your weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning! Another period starts. More questions unanswered. Your weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning! Another loss. Another diagnosis. Your weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning! What seems to be your greatest tragedy, may just be the greatest opportunity for God to show Himself strong in your life. Just hold on! Sunday morning is coming!
God hasn’t forgotten your story. He knows when your Sunday will come, and He knows just how to bring that joy to you. Perhaps joy will come wrapped in a baby blanket. Perhaps joy will blanket you with peaceful resolution. He knows that joy will come in your morning. He knows His Son died on Good Friday to make provision for you to spend eternity with Him.
That makes Good Friday really, really good.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Dr Update
Hello. I just wanted to give an update about my dr apointment that i had yesterday, Thur. Well.. i got my ultrasound and the first thing she checked was my uterine lining. it was great at 9.9mm (almost 10mm) so that's really good :) I also only had one follicle on the right :( ugh. i was hoping for more than one. but a "normal" woman only gets one per month anyways... so maybe im becoming normal-lol. I dont remember the exact size, but i think it was around 20 somthing mm. I had some smaller ones on the left and right as well.. she said that there could be a possibility for them to mature and release in time. i dunno though. the right side is the side that dr webb, in boone, thought was blocked when they did the hsg test. but my dr in winston, dr parker, said it was just an air bubble. so im hoping dr parker is correct :) Anyways, i got my trigger shot in my arm and now im just waiting for my Easter blessing :)
I hope that you have a great Easter and remember, that the Lord died for all of us that we might have life :) Its going to be a GREAT month!!! travis is sooo positive, so i need to be as well.
Thanks for ALL your thoughts and prayers and i will keep ya posted ;)
I hope that you have a great Easter and remember, that the Lord died for all of us that we might have life :) Its going to be a GREAT month!!! travis is sooo positive, so i need to be as well.
Thanks for ALL your thoughts and prayers and i will keep ya posted ;)
Monday, April 6, 2009
Devotional
The Thorny Path of Infertility
Proverbs 3:5-6
Imagine with me that infertility is really a journey. You stand at the beginning of a path and when you walk to the end of the path, your issues will be resolved. What does this path look like? What will it take to get to the end?
There are many twists and turns. You cannot see if you are at the beginning or nearing the end. You just know you cannot get off this path. You must follow it until it ends.
Look down by your feet. What do you see? You see thorns all around you. Thorns on the right side of the path, thorns on the left side. You see them all alongside the path behind you, and all alongside the path in front of you. If you step on one, the injury would cause great pain and make it harder for you to continue on your journey.
But look! There’s a shortcut! That path has flowers instead of thorns! The only problem is that you must walk through the thorns to reach that path. Oh, the pain those thorns would cause. Is it worth it?
There are so many questions, so many “what if’s” along the path to potential parenthood. Each one is like a thorn in the way.
What if I go the wrong way? What if I get lost? What if I can’t find my way out of the woods?
What if I choose the wrong treatment? What if our savings is lost? What if I can’t find my way back to God after the way I’ve spoken to or about Him? What if there is an adopted child out there to whom I cannot find my way? What if we consent to IVF and it fails? What if my marriage fails? What if there is another diagnosis? What if my husband says ‘no more’? What if I conceive and lose a child? What if we make the wrong choice as to whether to go to a doctor or not? What if…? What if…? What if?
The burden of making so many life-changing decisions in the midst of such stress can be so overwhelming! You gather as much information as you possibly can, yet you still cannot understand the medical jargon or even the financial statements. The pressure is mounting!
You desperately need a guide down this path. Sometimes it is easy to see which way to turn. Other times the thorns are hidden among the foliage and they catch you by surprise. Who can help you navigate this unknown territory?
Let’s go to the third chapter of Proverbs. (KJV)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Don’t understand exactly what you’re supposed to do? Here’s the good news. You don’t have to! In fact, God tells you not to! Don’t trust in your own understanding. Remember that there are times when your understanding of a situation is not accurate!
Trust God! Trust Him with all your heart! Trust Him with your future, with your body, with your family. He’ll direct you down this path of infertility.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Imagine with me that infertility is really a journey. You stand at the beginning of a path and when you walk to the end of the path, your issues will be resolved. What does this path look like? What will it take to get to the end?
There are many twists and turns. You cannot see if you are at the beginning or nearing the end. You just know you cannot get off this path. You must follow it until it ends.
Look down by your feet. What do you see? You see thorns all around you. Thorns on the right side of the path, thorns on the left side. You see them all alongside the path behind you, and all alongside the path in front of you. If you step on one, the injury would cause great pain and make it harder for you to continue on your journey.
But look! There’s a shortcut! That path has flowers instead of thorns! The only problem is that you must walk through the thorns to reach that path. Oh, the pain those thorns would cause. Is it worth it?
There are so many questions, so many “what if’s” along the path to potential parenthood. Each one is like a thorn in the way.
What if I go the wrong way? What if I get lost? What if I can’t find my way out of the woods?
What if I choose the wrong treatment? What if our savings is lost? What if I can’t find my way back to God after the way I’ve spoken to or about Him? What if there is an adopted child out there to whom I cannot find my way? What if we consent to IVF and it fails? What if my marriage fails? What if there is another diagnosis? What if my husband says ‘no more’? What if I conceive and lose a child? What if we make the wrong choice as to whether to go to a doctor or not? What if…? What if…? What if?
The burden of making so many life-changing decisions in the midst of such stress can be so overwhelming! You gather as much information as you possibly can, yet you still cannot understand the medical jargon or even the financial statements. The pressure is mounting!
You desperately need a guide down this path. Sometimes it is easy to see which way to turn. Other times the thorns are hidden among the foliage and they catch you by surprise. Who can help you navigate this unknown territory?
Let’s go to the third chapter of Proverbs. (KJV)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Don’t understand exactly what you’re supposed to do? Here’s the good news. You don’t have to! In fact, God tells you not to! Don’t trust in your own understanding. Remember that there are times when your understanding of a situation is not accurate!
Trust God! Trust Him with all your heart! Trust Him with your future, with your body, with your family. He’ll direct you down this path of infertility.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Happy Birthday Travis!!!
Today is my hunny's bday :) He is 25 today!!! We are just hanging around my parents house, not doing much. Im going to attempt to make him a cake that is shaped like a football. i was going to make it last night, but it takes an hr to bake! dang!!!
I appreciate my dear husband sooo much and he's been there for me through EVERYTHING! he is the best husband, and so so supportive. He has been very good through this whole infertility stuff. God has blessed w/ me such a great man, and we've had a great 8 years w/ eachother!! (wow, 8 years together :) )
Please pray for one of my dear friends, she just found out that her beta numbers from her pregnancy arent doubling, and she will miscarry. I know she is at peace w/ it all... but pray that God will give her the courage and strength to carry on. Thank you :)
Have a very blessed day!!
I appreciate my dear husband sooo much and he's been there for me through EVERYTHING! he is the best husband, and so so supportive. He has been very good through this whole infertility stuff. God has blessed w/ me such a great man, and we've had a great 8 years w/ eachother!! (wow, 8 years together :) )
Please pray for one of my dear friends, she just found out that her beta numbers from her pregnancy arent doubling, and she will miscarry. I know she is at peace w/ it all... but pray that God will give her the courage and strength to carry on. Thank you :)
Have a very blessed day!!
Friday, April 3, 2009
God's Perfect Timing..
** this was in my devotional today that i get in my email inbox***
God’s Perfect Timing
Then the LORD took note of Sarah as He had said, and the LORD did for Sarah as He had promised. So Sarah conceived and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the appointed time of which God had spoken to him.Genesis 21:1-2
Is anything too difficult for the Lord? Is the creation of a child in a barren womb too hard for God? No! Is the adoption of a parentless child to the specifically predestined family too hard for God? No! Is a fulfilled, contented happy life without children too hard for God? No! Is peace for the childless couple too hard for God? No! Is God receiving glory through this difficult experience too difficult for God? No!
When Sarah heard the Lord say that she would conceive a child in her old age, she laughed and then denied it when confronted. Why? She was afraid--probably afraid that she had been caught and may have feared the consequences. We all get afraid through our infertility: afraid of the toll on our marriage, relationships with friends and family, afraid of dying a lonely old person with no children or grandchildren, afraid of missing out on the joys of pregnancy or parenting. If fear haunts you, maybe you feel a little like Sarah did. Fear rises when the end of the cycle looms, so we laugh and pretend everything is okay. “Okay, so it didn’t work this month. That’s fine. We have a trip planned anyway. I wouldn’t want to be sick over the holidays.” All the while the fear of holding your child only in your hearts and not in your arms grips you tighter and tighter.
Jump over to Genesis 21:1-2. The time had come. Sarah’s barren womb was about to spring to life! The Lord took note of Sarah as He had said and the Lord did for Sarah as He had promised. God gave them Isaac at the appointed time. This is such a beautiful example of God’s ultimate wisdom. He knew the absolute, exact time that Isaac needed to be conceived. Not one day early, not even one month too late.
But Sarah was 90! Wasn’t that too late? Not even one millisecond! God knew exactly what child would be conceived each and every cycle. He knew exactly when to allow conception to occur to achieve His perfect plan. Through Abraham and Isaac’s lineage came the earthly family of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Look at the people affected by Isaac! What if he had been born to Abraham and Sarah in their 20s and 30s when they probably felt he should have been? That child would not have been the same person! Everything would have been different!
Perhaps that’s what God is waiting on with you and your family. Perhaps He’s waiting on just the right time to bring just the right child into your womb. Perhaps He’s waiting for just the right adoption to go through to bring just the exact child He has planned for you to love, nurture and raise in your heritage. Perhaps He’s waiting until just the right time to give you the peace you need to know that its okay to stop trying. Whatever His plan, as He reveals to you what you need, you can rest in the assurance that His plans are perfect, His timing is impeccable, and His heart and love for you are unfathomable
God’s Perfect Timing
Then the LORD took note of Sarah as He had said, and the LORD did for Sarah as He had promised. So Sarah conceived and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the appointed time of which God had spoken to him.Genesis 21:1-2
Is anything too difficult for the Lord? Is the creation of a child in a barren womb too hard for God? No! Is the adoption of a parentless child to the specifically predestined family too hard for God? No! Is a fulfilled, contented happy life without children too hard for God? No! Is peace for the childless couple too hard for God? No! Is God receiving glory through this difficult experience too difficult for God? No!
When Sarah heard the Lord say that she would conceive a child in her old age, she laughed and then denied it when confronted. Why? She was afraid--probably afraid that she had been caught and may have feared the consequences. We all get afraid through our infertility: afraid of the toll on our marriage, relationships with friends and family, afraid of dying a lonely old person with no children or grandchildren, afraid of missing out on the joys of pregnancy or parenting. If fear haunts you, maybe you feel a little like Sarah did. Fear rises when the end of the cycle looms, so we laugh and pretend everything is okay. “Okay, so it didn’t work this month. That’s fine. We have a trip planned anyway. I wouldn’t want to be sick over the holidays.” All the while the fear of holding your child only in your hearts and not in your arms grips you tighter and tighter.
Jump over to Genesis 21:1-2. The time had come. Sarah’s barren womb was about to spring to life! The Lord took note of Sarah as He had said and the Lord did for Sarah as He had promised. God gave them Isaac at the appointed time. This is such a beautiful example of God’s ultimate wisdom. He knew the absolute, exact time that Isaac needed to be conceived. Not one day early, not even one month too late.
But Sarah was 90! Wasn’t that too late? Not even one millisecond! God knew exactly what child would be conceived each and every cycle. He knew exactly when to allow conception to occur to achieve His perfect plan. Through Abraham and Isaac’s lineage came the earthly family of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Look at the people affected by Isaac! What if he had been born to Abraham and Sarah in their 20s and 30s when they probably felt he should have been? That child would not have been the same person! Everything would have been different!
Perhaps that’s what God is waiting on with you and your family. Perhaps He’s waiting on just the right time to bring just the right child into your womb. Perhaps He’s waiting for just the right adoption to go through to bring just the exact child He has planned for you to love, nurture and raise in your heritage. Perhaps He’s waiting until just the right time to give you the peace you need to know that its okay to stop trying. Whatever His plan, as He reveals to you what you need, you can rest in the assurance that His plans are perfect, His timing is impeccable, and His heart and love for you are unfathomable
Monday, March 30, 2009
April 9th
April 9th is when i go to lyndhurst again for my midcycle ultrasound. I will be on cycle day 13 that day and i will get an ultrasound to see how many follicles i will have :) PRAY for LARGE and MANY follicles :) I want my baby this month!! HAHA. No, seriously-please keep us in your prayers. I had a very rough time starting things this month :( I will start my Femara/Letrozole tonight and then i will go on that date and get a shot :) We'll see what God decides to do and how many Easter "Eggs" I will have :)
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Well....
Well, i guess this month wasnt the time for God to say "Yes, they get a baby this month". He has other plans for us :) That wasnt okay with me at first, but i guess it has to be now :( We'll see what He has in store for us next month.
I emailed my nurse and asked about an IUI and about injections. I know that the Femara is working, but sometimes you need just a little more. I also asked about the post coital test that they had told me about last time i was there. We'll see.
Thanks for your constant prayers and support and i appreciate it. Please keep them coming. God hears them all :)
I emailed my nurse and asked about an IUI and about injections. I know that the Femara is working, but sometimes you need just a little more. I also asked about the post coital test that they had told me about last time i was there. We'll see.
Thanks for your constant prayers and support and i appreciate it. Please keep them coming. God hears them all :)
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