So my test today came back bad, like Wed. So... if im not pregnant this month, iui here we come! im really hoping im pg but if im not-then we'll be moving onto the next step. We'll see how God is going to work it out!
I go next Friday for some more tests. this time to check for endo and pelvic adhesions, so we'll see.
I appreciate all your prayers :)
Friday, May 8, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
my dr apointment
Okay-so i went all the way to winston and had my post coital test and then a follicle scan, including my trigger shot.
Good news and hmmm.. maybe not so good news.
Good news is that i had 2 follicles. one was about 20mm and one was about 30mm. so i triggered. my uterine lining was about 10mm.. and that's great! the biggest follicle was getting hazy so that meant that i was going to ovulate soon... but the trigger allows them both to release (so my nurse said-lol) but that's the good news :)
the maybe not so good news is that she didnt see any sperm with my post coital test (they checked my "stuff" to see how hostile it is) well, it was too thick (TMI HERE) so i go back on Friday around 11:30 to see if it got any thinner, which she is hoping for.. as am i. so we'll be doing the post coital test again on Friday (if you want more detail info, just google it bc i dont want to go into details on what they do and what they check-lol)
I trust in God and that He knows what He is doing :)
Good news and hmmm.. maybe not so good news.
Good news is that i had 2 follicles. one was about 20mm and one was about 30mm. so i triggered. my uterine lining was about 10mm.. and that's great! the biggest follicle was getting hazy so that meant that i was going to ovulate soon... but the trigger allows them both to release (so my nurse said-lol) but that's the good news :)
the maybe not so good news is that she didnt see any sperm with my post coital test (they checked my "stuff" to see how hostile it is) well, it was too thick (TMI HERE) so i go back on Friday around 11:30 to see if it got any thinner, which she is hoping for.. as am i. so we'll be doing the post coital test again on Friday (if you want more detail info, just google it bc i dont want to go into details on what they do and what they check-lol)
I trust in God and that He knows what He is doing :)
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Ummm heck no.
Well, i got my Injections on Friday and all i gotta say is heck no! haha. Im hoping i can trigger on Wed so that way my nurse can give me the shot :) I have my follicle scan on Wed at 11:30 and the post coital test that day as well. We'll see. Im very anxious and very excited to see what God is going to do in our lives this month!! I am MUCH MUCH calmer this time around-so we'll see.
I want to do somthing good for people, id really like to start a group in Ashe County for infertility and child loss. i dont know how though. Hmm. Its just a desire i guess. There are SOOOO many people that i know of personally who have gone, are going through or will go through infertility. there are so many women who are also having numerous losses-or just one. we all are in this boat together, bc i found out that one miscarriage makes you "infertile". so i dont know. We'll see what i decide to do. Some people dont like to talk about it to others, and like to keep to themselves, so i dont know. i dont want to put anyone in a bad position-ya know?
On another note, i decided to get creative and make curtains out of placemats. haha (not the plastic ones) they are the cloth ones and just small like a valance. they arent done yet, but i will post a pic when they are :)
I want to do somthing good for people, id really like to start a group in Ashe County for infertility and child loss. i dont know how though. Hmm. Its just a desire i guess. There are SOOOO many people that i know of personally who have gone, are going through or will go through infertility. there are so many women who are also having numerous losses-or just one. we all are in this boat together, bc i found out that one miscarriage makes you "infertile". so i dont know. We'll see what i decide to do. Some people dont like to talk about it to others, and like to keep to themselves, so i dont know. i dont want to put anyone in a bad position-ya know?
On another note, i decided to get creative and make curtains out of placemats. haha (not the plastic ones) they are the cloth ones and just small like a valance. they arent done yet, but i will post a pic when they are :)
Friday, May 1, 2009
God's Plan
Good Plans
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
However your infertility is resolved, God has promised all of us some things. Lo, I am with you always...With you when the pregnancy test is negative, when everyone you know has children, when well meaning people offer stupid advice. He’s also there cheering with you in the good times when unbelievably there are two beautiful pink lines instead of just one, when the thought of throwing up actually thrills you to death! Psalm 126:5 says Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting. Notice it does not say, “Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting, but only when their prayers are answered exactly as they planned.” He promises to be with us through pleasure and pain, through infertility, pregnancies, miscarriages, adoptions, good times and bad. The Lord took note of Sarah and did for her what He promised. He’ll do for you what He’s promised. Period.
Jeremiah 29:11 says, For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (NIV) God placed within you baby hunger. He knows at this moment how it will resolve. He knows if you’re pregnant as you sit there and you just don’t realize it yet. He knows if you will conceive but it’s not the appointed time yet. He knows if you will adopt and, if so, He knows which child and exactly what that child is doing right now. He knows if you’ll never conceive. He knows the plan He has for your life and His plan is good. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.
But God, how can my life and my future be good and complete until I have a baby? How in the world can it be good at all if I never have a baby? Remember what God said to Sarah when she doubted Him? Is anything too difficult for the Lord? Trust Him today--right now. Perhaps you’ve never had to trust Him the way you have to now. Trust Him with your heart, your body, your relationships, and your family. Trust Him with your emotions. Trust Him with your future.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
However your infertility is resolved, God has promised all of us some things. Lo, I am with you always...With you when the pregnancy test is negative, when everyone you know has children, when well meaning people offer stupid advice. He’s also there cheering with you in the good times when unbelievably there are two beautiful pink lines instead of just one, when the thought of throwing up actually thrills you to death! Psalm 126:5 says Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting. Notice it does not say, “Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting, but only when their prayers are answered exactly as they planned.” He promises to be with us through pleasure and pain, through infertility, pregnancies, miscarriages, adoptions, good times and bad. The Lord took note of Sarah and did for her what He promised. He’ll do for you what He’s promised. Period.
Jeremiah 29:11 says, For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (NIV) God placed within you baby hunger. He knows at this moment how it will resolve. He knows if you’re pregnant as you sit there and you just don’t realize it yet. He knows if you will conceive but it’s not the appointed time yet. He knows if you will adopt and, if so, He knows which child and exactly what that child is doing right now. He knows if you’ll never conceive. He knows the plan He has for your life and His plan is good. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.
But God, how can my life and my future be good and complete until I have a baby? How in the world can it be good at all if I never have a baby? Remember what God said to Sarah when she doubted Him? Is anything too difficult for the Lord? Trust Him today--right now. Perhaps you’ve never had to trust Him the way you have to now. Trust Him with your heart, your body, your relationships, and your family. Trust Him with your emotions. Trust Him with your future.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Devotional
Where Is Your Faith?
37And there arose a fierce gale of wind, and the waves were breaking over the boat so much that the boat was already filling up.
38Jesus Himself was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke Him and said to Him, "Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?"
39And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Hush, be still." And the wind died down and it became perfectly calm.
Mark 4:37-39
I love a good storm! One of my favorite things to do is to watch a storm howl the crashing waves of an ocean! Give me thunder and lightening! Nothing better than wind whipping your hair in a thousand different directions at once! I’m sure my story would change if I were out in the middle of the water in a little fishing boat, but standing on the balcony of my hotel, I love it!
The disciples didn’t have too many balconies to stand on. Nope. They were right out there, smack dab in the middle of the storms. They were fishermen and they were well accustomed to battling a sudden storm, but this one was quite intense. Everyone manned their stations as they all tried to bring their vessel safely to shore.
Everyone but Jesus.
Where was Jesus? He was asleep! The waves that terrified the disciples literally rocked the Master to sleep! The howling of the storm became His lullaby and the Creator of Heaven and earth rested His holy head on a pillow and went to sleep! Jesus never did anything half-way, so why would you think He only dozed? Maybe He snored and maybe He even slobbered, but I believe Jesus was out like a light! Do you think He dreamed? Perhaps He dreamt of going back to His Father’s house. Maybe His eyes danced beneath slumbering eyelids as He dreamt of the day He’d reunite you and your baby there. Whatever the case was, He simply didn’t worry about the storm.
As they shook their heads trying to gain focus and wiped the water out of their eyes, someone must have stomped over to Jesus, woke Him up and said “Don’t you care if we perish out here? Save us, Jesus! We’re about to drown! Why don’t you care?”
Are you beginning to feel a connection with these rain-soaked sailors? Crying out to a silent sky, begging God to breathe life into your womb is a terrifying experience. As you stand drenched in the storm of frustration and sorrow, grab the side of the boat and hang on. The Master of the Sea just woke up!
I think it’s very interesting that we don’t know who actually woke Jesus up. All three accounts of this story in Scripture say “they came to Him…” or “they woke Him…” Hey, I don’t blame them! Would you want your name to go down in history as the one who woke up Jesus and told Him that you didn’t think He cared enough to save you? I wonder what “they” thought when they stood at Calvary?
Without argument and without delay, Jesus simply got up, looked out over the howling storm, rebuked the winds and said to the sea: “Peace, be still.” (Mark 4:39 KJV) I would love to have been there! Okay, I wouldn’t necessarily want to be thrown from one end of the craft to the other as the storm raged, but I would love to have been there when the storm abruptly ceased! Can you picture it? The waves that were throwing their boat up in the air like a cat tossing a toy are suddenly as quiet and still as glass! The wind that cut through them like a knife is no more. They push their hair out of their eyes and with mouths hanging open take in the expression on Jesus’ face. The howling of the wind has given way to the sound of men gasping in astonishment as they realize the storm is gone. Jesus looks at them and simply asks them, “Where is your faith?” Rain-soaked friend, I ask you the same. Where is your faith?
Is your faith in the hands of the doctors? In spite of training and technology, there are times when medicine fails. Is your faith in money? Money tends to run out, you know. Is your faith in the relationships you’ve forged with others? Precious though they are, some relationships are strained to the breaking point as they weather the storm of infertility or loss. If your faith is anywhere else besides in the Son of God, your faith will fail you. Even if you have placed your faith in your “religion” it may fall. People are fallible. God and His Word are not.
God is trustworthy and He will never abuse your faith or fall short of what He has promised.
37And there arose a fierce gale of wind, and the waves were breaking over the boat so much that the boat was already filling up.
38Jesus Himself was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke Him and said to Him, "Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?"
39And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Hush, be still." And the wind died down and it became perfectly calm.
Mark 4:37-39
I love a good storm! One of my favorite things to do is to watch a storm howl the crashing waves of an ocean! Give me thunder and lightening! Nothing better than wind whipping your hair in a thousand different directions at once! I’m sure my story would change if I were out in the middle of the water in a little fishing boat, but standing on the balcony of my hotel, I love it!
The disciples didn’t have too many balconies to stand on. Nope. They were right out there, smack dab in the middle of the storms. They were fishermen and they were well accustomed to battling a sudden storm, but this one was quite intense. Everyone manned their stations as they all tried to bring their vessel safely to shore.
Everyone but Jesus.
Where was Jesus? He was asleep! The waves that terrified the disciples literally rocked the Master to sleep! The howling of the storm became His lullaby and the Creator of Heaven and earth rested His holy head on a pillow and went to sleep! Jesus never did anything half-way, so why would you think He only dozed? Maybe He snored and maybe He even slobbered, but I believe Jesus was out like a light! Do you think He dreamed? Perhaps He dreamt of going back to His Father’s house. Maybe His eyes danced beneath slumbering eyelids as He dreamt of the day He’d reunite you and your baby there. Whatever the case was, He simply didn’t worry about the storm.
As they shook their heads trying to gain focus and wiped the water out of their eyes, someone must have stomped over to Jesus, woke Him up and said “Don’t you care if we perish out here? Save us, Jesus! We’re about to drown! Why don’t you care?”
Are you beginning to feel a connection with these rain-soaked sailors? Crying out to a silent sky, begging God to breathe life into your womb is a terrifying experience. As you stand drenched in the storm of frustration and sorrow, grab the side of the boat and hang on. The Master of the Sea just woke up!
I think it’s very interesting that we don’t know who actually woke Jesus up. All three accounts of this story in Scripture say “they came to Him…” or “they woke Him…” Hey, I don’t blame them! Would you want your name to go down in history as the one who woke up Jesus and told Him that you didn’t think He cared enough to save you? I wonder what “they” thought when they stood at Calvary?
Without argument and without delay, Jesus simply got up, looked out over the howling storm, rebuked the winds and said to the sea: “Peace, be still.” (Mark 4:39 KJV) I would love to have been there! Okay, I wouldn’t necessarily want to be thrown from one end of the craft to the other as the storm raged, but I would love to have been there when the storm abruptly ceased! Can you picture it? The waves that were throwing their boat up in the air like a cat tossing a toy are suddenly as quiet and still as glass! The wind that cut through them like a knife is no more. They push their hair out of their eyes and with mouths hanging open take in the expression on Jesus’ face. The howling of the wind has given way to the sound of men gasping in astonishment as they realize the storm is gone. Jesus looks at them and simply asks them, “Where is your faith?” Rain-soaked friend, I ask you the same. Where is your faith?
Is your faith in the hands of the doctors? In spite of training and technology, there are times when medicine fails. Is your faith in money? Money tends to run out, you know. Is your faith in the relationships you’ve forged with others? Precious though they are, some relationships are strained to the breaking point as they weather the storm of infertility or loss. If your faith is anywhere else besides in the Son of God, your faith will fail you. Even if you have placed your faith in your “religion” it may fall. People are fallible. God and His Word are not.
God is trustworthy and He will never abuse your faith or fall short of what He has promised.
Monday, April 27, 2009
mini update
I got an email from my fert nurse and she scheduled my apointment for cd 13, i have a follie scan and the post coital test that day too. so 2 birds w/ one stone. I hate seeing her after i email her and get on her nerves-HAHA. dh says its her job and she's used to it-we'll see. We might even have to make a mini trip out of it. We might have to stay in a hotel. I asked about the iui and the costs-here is what she said : The price of insemination is $360-. You will also have an ultrasound, $145-, and labs, $130-.Then you have the cost of your medications, femara and HCG injection. Hmmm.. we've got the money for that :) I also got a call from the pharmacy, Ascend Pharmacy, and my trigger will be about $45. so that's not too bad (did i say that already-lol) so we'll see. im nervous about the post coital test bc im certain it will be bad but we'll see. We'll see what GOd will do this month :)
Im just ready to get on w/ things. so i will be going May 6th.
Im just ready to get on w/ things. so i will be going May 6th.
Friday, April 24, 2009
WOW
Wow, i just realised its been a while. Nothing new has been going on, but still. lol.
I did get my "monthly" so i am not pregnant this month. I will be doing another month of 7.5mg of femara along w/ more tests (bleh!) and then if May doesnt work, we will be doing IUI in June (I think) Im really really praying that God is going to bless us in May. We will get our Superbowl baby :) ( I decided that im going to get pg and my baby will be due on superbowl sunday and the titans will be playing so travis wont get to watch it-lol) I know its ALL in His hands now, so i have no control.
I will start my meds Sun and then go to Winston in about 2 weeks. We'll see. I know i need better faith, and one of my friends told me that maybe God is trying to teach me patience. Yes, i KNOW im being taught patience-lol. Travis has great faith and is sooo positive. I need some if his faith :)
I will NOT be obssessing this month, so maybe that will help. I need to be more laid back and realise i AM NOT in control-ugh! lol.
I will update ya'll as i go on.
I did get my "monthly" so i am not pregnant this month. I will be doing another month of 7.5mg of femara along w/ more tests (bleh!) and then if May doesnt work, we will be doing IUI in June (I think) Im really really praying that God is going to bless us in May. We will get our Superbowl baby :) ( I decided that im going to get pg and my baby will be due on superbowl sunday and the titans will be playing so travis wont get to watch it-lol) I know its ALL in His hands now, so i have no control.
I will start my meds Sun and then go to Winston in about 2 weeks. We'll see. I know i need better faith, and one of my friends told me that maybe God is trying to teach me patience. Yes, i KNOW im being taught patience-lol. Travis has great faith and is sooo positive. I need some if his faith :)
I will NOT be obssessing this month, so maybe that will help. I need to be more laid back and realise i AM NOT in control-ugh! lol.
I will update ya'll as i go on.
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