New Plan

Soooo ....

for our new plan is this. We are going to thaw out the eggies that we have frozen. We will be keeping positive thoughts and keep praying our little hearts out that God will bless us in His time!!! This process will cost us $1,915 and that scares me half to death!! I know that God will provide and I know that I need to lean on Him during this time. This IS going to work and ALL 3 of our babies WILL be coming home to us... soon!!!!

I dont know dates yet, but as the process gets further and further I will keep you posted. Im thinking late Sept/early Oct. We'll see :)

Dear Eggies,

(no, that is NOT a pic of my frozen eggs-but that is a pic of what they are kept in)

Dear Eggies....

Even though you arent technically "babies" yet, you are OUR babies. We pray to God that you three make it out of the thaw of the frozen container that you have been in for the past month. That God will get you to the stage that you need to be and for you to be healthy. We need this, We want this and we feel that this IS it. We trust that God has a great and wonderful plan for all 3 of you and who knows, you 3 might be the miracles we've been waiting for. We pray that God keeps you safe and helps you along into embryos and one day... into our arms. We will love and protect you no matter what. We know that we might sound crazy, but this is where we feel that you begin. From here on out-you are our babies.

We cant wait to meet you-all 3 of you-one day. and we pray daily for God to bless us in HIS time....

With much love,

Your mommy and daddy

Today...

.... my heart is breaking.

Yesterday evening I went to the restroom and there it was-spotting. Yup, Monday will be day 1 of my cycle (I dont even know what number anymore-I have lost count)

I will call Dr Y on Monday and I assume I will go in for a day 3 scan and start on the required meds for this cycle. Good news is that I dont have to take injections this time around, just somthing to thicken my lining. I might have to take Ganirelex again-but I dont know yet.

So our plan for this time is to thaw out 3 eggies, and do ICSI (that is where they place 1 sperm into each egg and its instant fertilization, correct me if Im wrong on that) and then they grow them in the lab for 3-5 days and then transfer them into my uterus. I am pretty sure they are transfering all 3, but Im not sure yet. I told Trav the reason that we havent gotten preg yet is bc its God's plan for me to get preg w/ triplets-2 boys and 1 girl. My friend Michelle said we'll have 3 girls. ;)

So the prayer for this month is to please pray that my 3 eggies make it past thawing, once they are past that stage-that they make it to either 3 or 5 days and have the correct amount of cells for implantation. After that, that they make it and implant and we have our miracle(s). I just want one. One is all I ask for. IF I get more than one, then its all in God's plan and I will be excited.

Thank you so much for praying. Im hurting, my heart is breaking, but I know that this is in God's plan. I feel it in my heart and I just know this is going to work.

thanks :)

Been A While....

Hello people, been a while-LOL.

Nothing new with me. I have just been waiting patiently... trying to at least.

I did get a phone call the other day saying that I did indeed have 3 frozen eggies :) Of great quality too :) So IF we need to, we have 3 eggies ready to thaw out for next month. The good thing about it if we have to use the frozen eggies, is that I dont need to take shots over and over again. I will just have to wear an estrogen patch to thicken my lining and get it ready for transfer. I am excited about it-hoping that this cycle works though. The survival rate of thawed eggies is 75%, so that means that 2 out of 3 should survive. So we will be praying and praying for this month to work :)

Other than that-nothing else is going on.

egg retreval and IUI

Good afternoon, this will be really quick bc Im still groggy. Lets see.

I took my Valium, 2 Tylenol 3's and antibiotic at 6:45 this morn. I got the dr at 7:45 and Trav was taken back to his room where he did his business. I got back into the room and they washed and washed my cervix, he numbed the area w/ a local so I wouldnt feel anything-HA! Then they inserted a vaginal ultrasound probe w/ a needle thing on the end of it. He punctured all the follicles and aspirated them. He only got 3 eggs to be frozen. We had 6 total and he left the other 3 for the iui. I had seen more on there that looked fairly good size that he didnt aspirate. the needle he used wasnt the same needle that is used in IVF retreval so this was a smaller needle and it was harder to puncture the follicle. he said that there may be about 4-5 follies that were left, instead of 3. I asked him about only getting 3 eggs to freeze and he said that was still good. he said that sometimes that indicates that they did the aspiration too early (after the hcg). But he said that having 3 to freeze is good. So i will take is word on it. what keeps me sane is the fact that 3 women who have done this same procedure have gotten preg w/ the iui portion bc taking the extra follies away has helped. so that's a good thing and keeps me sane :) That's about all. I am to start the progesterone supplements twice a day starting tomorrow. Im resting and drinking as much fluids as i can. i had a cath so it hurts really bad to urinate. :(

that's about all. I will catch up later.

give me strength

‎'God loves me enough to not always "come to my rescue" in my trials, but to walk me through them, so that He can build in me the strength that I need to fulfill the plan He has for me.' - Christi Armstrong

Okay, Im home but I wont be on here long. Im exhausted.

So my apointment was at 10:30 so we got there at 10:15 bc I thought that Id have to fill out alot of papers bc I havent been to this office. We waited for about an hour. Anyways, so I went back and had my ultrasound. My lining was good, I dont remember what the mm was though-lol. I had 18 follies total over 10mm. On the left I had 14mm, 20.6mm, 22mm, 3-15mm, 2-11mm and a 16mm. on the right i had 2-12mm, 4-14mm, 15mm, 11mm, and 18mm. Im really bloated and sore though. The dr will aspirate all but the 3 largest and I will have an iui w/ those. They will freeze the ones they aspirate. This is a clinical trial type thing on the new freezing machine. They have had 6 pregnancies with doing this so far (there is only 36 people in the study) and the rest of us are still in this stage. I have to be there again on Monday at 7:45 am. I am to take my trigger tonight at 10:30. On Monday I have to take a antibiotic, a 10mg of Valium and 2 Tylenol 3's. EICK! Im very medicine sensitive. lets see.. that's about all that I can think of. I will update when things progres..


Im VERY excited and VERY nervous. and I actually feel pretty miserable. I dont want to complain but I feel like junk. LOL. Please pray that this works :)

Overwhelming to me...

I got my scan. My lining was 11mm. I dont remember how many I had on my right and how many on my left, but I do remember i had 8 on one side, or was it 5??, and 7 on the other. Those 15 measured above 11mm!!!! I had about 20 total that measured over 8mm (including the ones that are 11mm) I had 2 big ones at 18mm. I took Follistim 150iu tonight and Ganrilex (however you spell that). I go to the "new" dr (its at the hospital and not at my drs that i go to now) tomorrow at 10:30. They are going to do a scan and discuss w/ me what will be done. I will have all but 3 follies extracted and those that are extracted will be frozen, just the eggs, not made into embryos. Then w/ the 3 left they will do IUI. I will be sedated, but not knocked out. they will give me vicodin and valium. Which ive never taken either. Lol. So I will really know more tomorrow after my apointment.

Well, that's me in a nutshell :)

Say "Hello" to my new little friend...

Ganirelix.


I take this prefilled med tonight, tomorrow night and go back to the dr fri. Im scared. this med is supposed to slow down the growth of the bigger follicles and give the smaller ones time to catch up! EICK!!!!!

1...2...3....4....5....6...7...8...9...10....

And I lost count after 12! LOL

Im home from my dr apointment. Man, am I overwhelmed now! HAHA. I got there and she asked how I felt. I told her "bloated and full" and she said "oooo I hate to see what's in here-lol" She scanned my lining-looked good. 9.4mm. My right ovary had 5-6 follies that were all over 8mm. Then she got to my left and BAM!!!! There were sooo many! I lost count-Lol. I had about 10 on just my left and they were all over 8mm!!!! Total I had 7, possibly 8, that were over 11mm and the rest were over 8mm. So that's a good visit. Im to continue w/ Follistim-150iu tonight and tomorrow night and Im also supposed to start on Ganrilex tonight and tomorrow. I go back on Friday at 8:30 for another scan. Eick!!! Im scared, nervous, excited-just all into one. lol. I will know more on Friday bc I will need to go talk to the other physician who is actually doing all this. Its at another hospital.

That's all in a nutshell. Off to rest a min.

Follistim... 150iu ... and bruises :(

Here are a couple of pics I thought Id share w/ ya.

This is the TINY needle that has been causing so much bruising :(



150 iu per night


This is what my med vial looks like


This is the whole pen


and last, but not least... my bruises. with injections you should switch sides of the body which you inject-so that's why ive got bruises on both sides. eick! please excuse my fat belly, hairy belly (Darn pcos) and my big thighs-HAHAHA.

Follicle Scan-CHECK!

Dr apointment went good. I had about 8-9 follies that were from 7-9.6mm big. Lining was 8mm. Im excited now. I go back Wed, but idk what time yet though. She has to call me back. They did bump my meds up to 150iu. Im scared. lol. Here is the deal for this month. IF I get more than 5 follies they will aspirate all but 3 and freeze those and still do the iui (I think-lol) and then IF I dont get pregnant in Aug, we will use the frozen ones in Sept. They freeze the eggs when they become blastocysts. I mean, I want to do that, but then I dont. Its a couple thousand for both so we'll see. We have about $1,000 saved up, but that's not the same as a COUPLE thousand-haha. We'll see. Im really trying not to worry-just going day by day. We will know more on Wed I suppose.

Day 7

Day 7 - Least favorite episode of your favorite show


*** Didnt do this one-LOL***

Day 6

Day 6 - Favorite episode of your favorite show.


1) House and Cutty have a kiss at the season finale (I cant remember which season last one was-haha)


2) My fav cake that they made on Cake Boss-the Aquarium one


3) I just cant pick one episode for Glee-man, I just like to watch him sing :) mmm mmm.



4) I love ALL the episodes of ER-and the old ones mostly. Man, I wish it was still on



5) I love this episode of Deliver Me when Dr Yvonne Bohn finally gives birth to a baby girl

1 year ago

One year ago today I had my very first surgery. I had a laparoscopy done to remove mild endo. So little that it wasnt even stage 1. They also checked my tubes and they were open. So, here are a few pics to remember that day by- lol.

Day 5

Day 5 - A show you hate


1) I watch this show every week, but man-i just hate it-HAHA.

Secret Life of the American Teenager


2) Supernatural (the previews creep me out so I dont watch it-haha)


3)CSI-I just dont like crime shows



4)Family Guy-Blach, i just dont like the way they sound-haha



5)Nanny 911-I just dont like it :-/

Follistim

Today is my 3rd day of Follistim. 110 iu per day. Its going pretty good and I love follistim-lol. I have ZERO side effects from it (well, maybe a little moddy and a slight headache) I have a scan on Sunday and i cant wait!!! Hopefully things will go great :)

I will keep ya posted!

Day 4

Day 4 - Your favorite show ever.


1) Greys Anatomy


2) Private Practice



3) Cake Boss



4) Glee



5) House

Day 3

Day 3 - Your favorite new show

1) Lie to me


2) Drop Dead Diva



3) Royal Pains



4) Pretty Little Liars



5) Wipe Out

Day 2 TV

Day 2 - A show that you wish more people were watching

1) 19 Kids and Counting-even though it disturbes me that she has 19 kids, its still a good show-lol



2) The Little Couple



3) Smallville



4) Wipeout




5) Degrassi

Day 3 scan...

Went good! I had about 20 antral follicles on both ovaries-which have a potential of maturing. my nurse didnt want that to happen, neither do i-haha. I started on 110 iu per night of Follistim. I took my first shot for the month tonight, its like nothing now. lol. Im so used to it. I go back on Sun-day 8 for a follie scan, hoping we have good things growing :)

for the plan this month, if i get more than 3 follies that will be mature, they will aspirate all but 3. do the iui w/ the 3 and then freeze the ones the aspirate and then if i dont get pregnant in aug, in sept they will thaw those out and add sperm and transfer those into my uterus like an ivf cycle. (im assuming) we didnt go into much detail but will when the time comes.

if you are reading this, and youre a praying person, please please pray. I know that God will bless us when His time is right-not ours, but still... pray please :)

Never will I.....

I cant sleep, I need to sleep bc I have to be up at 5am for my 730 apointment. But this was on my mind... so I thought Id delight ya'll in a post :) These are just thoughts, that I look back and think... i would have never done that, or would i. Most of these I have done or will do....

Just never say never...



Never Will I.....

* Spend hundreds of dollars on ovulation and pregnancy tests

* Go to the dr on day 3 of my period for an internal ultrasound (let me tell you-that's embarassing)

* Spend hundreds of dollars, no-make that thousands, on copays, dr bills,and medication.

* Shoot myself daily with hormone shots...

* Take daily pills to make me a horrible, moody person.

* Take a pill vaginally in order to not have a miscarriage IF I get pregnant that cycle..

* Cry thousands, no-make that BILLIONS- of tears over my biological child that may never be.

* Research thousands of websites so I can learn about PCOS, Endo, IUI, IVF, and last but not least-Adoption

* Die a little inside when I see a bfn on a pregnancy test every month

* Cry when I get my period

* And other months rejoice when I get my period (ironic-huh)

* Have surgery to remove somthing that isnt supposed to be in my body (endo)

* Drive thousands of miles, only for a 5 min apointment

* Have a complete stranger know all about my vagina, cervix, sex life and my cycle days.

* have sex w/ my husband bc I HAVE to, bc its the right time...

* lay in bed-w/ out peeing or talking first-just to take my temp so I can see if I ovulated or not

* take apart a pregnancy test to see if i see the FAINTEST of lines... only to see NOTHING!

* Get soooo excited over a bfp-only to realise its from the hcg shot (after it was a negative for 2 days)

* See the look of fear and sadness on my husband's face, on my face, when we realise that it didnt work that month

* have a child past the age of 30 (I always thought Id have all my children, i wanted 4, before I was 30) I know Im still 4 years away from 30, buts its getting close.

* have ever thought about adoption fundraisers and raising $25k to go to another country and get MY baby

* Feel like a failure.

* Be so open and honest with people

* Be an inspiration to someone else, about infertility

* understand why

* Start a blog (that was somthing I never thought id do)

* have so much faith (my faith in God has gotten so strong over the past 3 years)

* fall more and more in love w/ my husband (going through infertility usually tears people apart, but for us-its seemed to have brought us closer, and im greatful for my Godly husband)

* Feel sooo confused. Infertility has got to be the HARDEST thing that I have ever been through. Sooo many emotions.

* Give up. I wont give up, not until God lays it upon my heart. Sure, we may have to take "breaks" and figure out our next step, but God has a great and mighty plan for us.

Day 1-TV Meme

Day 1 - A show that should never have been cancelled.

I cant come up w/ just more than one... lets see...



1) ER




2) Everwood



3) Gilmore Girls:



4) 7th heaven



5) Party of Five

30 Day Television Meme

30 Day Television Meme

I got this from my blogger friend Barrenista (sorry, I dont know your name)and thought I'd give it a try.

BUT Im going to change it up a bit-I hope you dont mind-lol. Im going to list 5 of each category-to make it harder :)


Day 1 - A show that should never have been cancelled.
Day 2 - A show that you wish more people were watching.
Day 3 - Your favorite new show.
Day 4 - Your favorite show ever.
Day 5 - A show you hate.
Day 6 - Favorite episode of your favorite show.
Day 7 - Least favorite episode of your favorite show.
Day 8 - A show everyone should watch.
Day 9 - Best scene ever
Day 10 - A show you thought you wouldn't like but ended up loving.
Day 11 - A show that disappointed you.
Day 12 - An episode you've watched more than 5 times.
Day 13 - Favorite childhood show
Day 14 - Favorite male character
Day 15 - Favorite female character
Day 16 - Your guilty pleasure show
Day 17 - Favorite mini series
Day 18 - Favorite title sequence
Day 19 - Best TV show cast
Day 20 - Favorite kiss
Day 21 - Favorite monologue
Day 22 - Favorite series finale
Day 23 - Most annoying character
Day 24 - Best quote
Day 25 - A show you plan on watching
Day 26 - Craziest season finale
Day 27 - Best pilot episode
Day 28 - First TV show obsession
Day 29 - Current TV show obsession
Day 30 - Saddest character death

Day 3 Scan? Check!

I go tomorrow, Tue, for my day 3 scan. I have to be in winston by 730...ugh! So that means I need to leave around 6. Ugh. O well, all for my baby/babies :) I am really excited to move on this month, praying and hoping that God will bless us w/ our miracle:)

Day 1

Today marks day 1 of another month. I dont even know what cycle number this is-haha. I have lost track a long time ago-o well :)

Now, I wait for my nurse to contact me and then i will start on my meds for Aug. YAY. I cant wait :)