My 2010....

2010 was a long and hard and trying year for us. It was also a great year of new and exciting things.

Lets see:

Jan: The start of 2010. IUI #3-failed

Feb: Femara stopped working... a break cycle.

March: Started on injections.
Went to Acquire the Fire
Applied for a new job

April went to my first Skillet concert :)
IUI #4 (back to back)-failed
Travis turned 26 (on Easter Sun)

May: First time EVER on birth control pills... hated them!

June: Turned 26
Celebrated 4 years marriage to Travis :)
MORE shots.
IUI #5-FAILED


July: Femara again-failed
Went to Pigeon Forge and stayed in a cabin for the first time.
Started thinking more and more about adoption
Started a garden

Aug: Injections-again.
First ever egg aspiration.
First time on any type of relaxation med-lol.
IUI #6-failed
Froze 3 eggs for future use.

Sept: Realized we had spent $10,000 in fert treatments *sigh*
Started on progesterone shots
started on estrogen patches, 2 diff kinds.
learned i had slow flowing blood
Never had I ever wanted to punch someone so much when I learned my cycle was messed up

Oct: hardest month of my life
NEVER did I think id experience such heartache, such pain, and such sadness
Thawed out my 3 eggs, and only 1 made it.
Lost my 1 embryo-my baby-on Oct 9, 2010.
Learned what it was like to have my heart ripped out and stomped on.
Learned to draw near to Travis and God.
Learned that Im strong enough and can move on... as hard as it may be.
National Pregnancy and Infant loss day-oct 15-never thought id "participate"
made a huge choice leaving mt Jefferson Baptist, but God needed us elsewhere
Learned who my TRUE friends are.

Nov: Thanksgiving
Provera month
Went to Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg w/ friends from work.
Went to Dixie Stampede
Acid reflux started-lol

Dec: Went to Nashville
Tennessee Titans game
Country Music Hall of Fame
First big snow
3 and 1/2 years of trying for our miracle... hoping we get a Christmas one.


So that's 2010 in a nutshell.. maybe 2011 will be more interesting?? We shall see. That one is up to God ;-)

Just Because

Just because you work in a hospital doesnt make you a doctor..

just because you go to church, doesnt make you a pastor (or even a Christian at times)

Just because you drive a truck, doesnt make you a trucker...

Just because you read, doesnt make you a teacher..

Just because you are a waiter/waitress, doesnt make you a cook/chef...

Just because you are woman, doesnt make you a mother...

Just because I have no child, doesnt mean I have no life....

Just because Im done trying... doesnt mean I dont still hurt, still cry, still greive...

Just because I lost you... doesnt mean I will forget you.... i will always love you.

Just because I cant get pregnant... doesnt mean I will never be a parent...


Just because I hurt, I cry, I greive... does NOT mean I cant be happy, healthy, and full of life...


Just think about it.

Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg

This weekend the gals and I went to pigeon forge/gatlinburg and had a great time!!! 3of us got there on Friday and 3 on Sat. We stayed at an awesome hotel, michelle's timeshare, and we even saw a bear! Lol. It was cool. We went to Dixie Stampede and shopping at the Tanger Outlets.

They made me watch a scary movie, the Strangers, I about had a heart attack! I do not watch scary movies! EICK.

Dixie Stampede was really cool and I was soo glad that I went. Since its around Christmas they did a Christmas show w/ live animals, a live nativity and everything. I really enjoyed it. and even ate the chicken! Lol

baby this... baby that...

Baby???


today got me thinking.

I am very excited to be working towards adoption/foster care. Of course we havent done much towards it but get the house together. We wont be attending the adoption seminar until Jan 8. I cant wait for it! lol.
We will start the foster care classes-MAPP training-in the spring when the weather gets warmer. Hopefully by the summer we will have a child in our home :)

What got me thinking today was that we got a babies r us card in the mail :) I was excited. HAHA. Yes, its a store card, but no-we will not be using it-unless we need to. I thought itd be a good one to have. ;-)

In the meantime, Im trying to decide if i want to do the final IUI in Jan or if i just want to let it go. on one hand I do... on the other i dont. I have the meds, we have the money to pay for the iui.


i have enjoyed not shooting myself daily w/ hormones...

I have enjoyed the working time and not the back and forth to the drs...

I have enjoyed LESS stress...

Idk what to do. We shall see how God provides in the next couple of months... bc Im darn excited!

Ouchie.... times 100!!!

i have been in pain in my stomach for about a week now. I have also had diarhea for about 2 weeks now. I finally went to the dr the other day and he suspected I had a bacterial infection.... I went back 2 days later for the tests and NOPE. No infections to be found. He put me on prilosec for acid reflux. I am to take it once a day for 6 weeks and after 6 weeks i can take it as needed. if it starts to hurt worse or doesnt get better, then they will test my gallbladder. We shall see.. I have just been sick to my stomach and it was just awful. I hate being sick to my stomach. and worse... Im tired. i cant sleep at night. I seem to be waking up at 3m everyday... that must be my new wake up time??? *sigh*.

Well, Im behind...

Well.. Im a little behind on my "Today Im Thankful" posts. Lol.

I have been having pains in my stomach and last night was the worst. Im not doubling over w/ pain... but its annoying pain-lol. It is gone as Im typing this. Depending on what I eat, it comes and goes. I am debating wether or not to go to the dr tomorrow... we shall see.

So today.. .Im thankful for....


tv... a comfy bed.... and books to read...


while im laid up in bed.

day 6

Today I am thankful for...


My friends.

I am greatful to have amazing friends who will be by my side no matter what. I have met a great deal of people online through chat rooms and message boards and they are just as good of friends, if not better, than my "in person" friends (not all of ya'll!) I thank God for the people He has put into my life, and back into my life after many of years. (You know who ya are!)

Everyone needs friends, esp women. We vent and complain alot and we need good friends who will be there to listen. Lol.

Thanks guys!