o how cute

I got to looking and found some more-haha.

Baby stuff

So, usually I post about how much I want a baby, how I cant have a baby... blah blah-right. So tonight I thought Id post baby stuff bc of course I look at baby stuff! HAHA. Here are some things I just love!!! Okay, ready? here goes-haha.

Here is the stroller/carseat that I like:




Here is the swing. Its cool, it works as a glider thing too.



here is a cool bassinet I found, but its also $350! haha.



As for the bedroom, we have a LIME green room to use-haha. We love it!!! I have a bunch of ideas. haha. here are some pics of bedding we like. Also for a boy-we thought about putting up this mural

and using this blanket



Here are the ideas for a girl-love them all :) it will be sooo hard to chose one day!








Id love to put this on the wall too :)




sooo those are just some ideas. Nothing special :)

Crap

That is what I feel like. I feel like crap, no better way to say it-lol.

My stomach hurts, my back hurts, Im cramping.... yet-where the heck is my little red friend?!?! (sorry, that sounded gross-haha) I need to start so I can move on. I hate this wait. I want to move on, need to move on.

Before you say-o, maybe she's pregnant. Nope, I really really dont think I am. lol. I have all my meds ready in the fridge, and I am mentally ready-I just need that one little thing to occur first-hmmm...

Anyways... that's my vent. LOL. Oh-and I think I realised WHY I have never ate pintos before-ugh! I have the worst stomach pains bc of them, but they were for a good cause :) (Fundraiser for Patti Graybeal last night) So I will grin and bear it.

Video

I saw this video on a blog that I read and though it was amazing.. and explained things wonderfully.... thought Id share it w/ ya'll

http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.html

Biblical Infertility

Yes, there were even women from the Bible that faced infertility. That greived and mourned over the child that may never be.

Who are those women, you ask?


Here is a little about each of them:

~Abraham and Sarah had given up hope of ever having their own children when God gave Abraham the promise that he and Sarah would have a son whose offspring would be greater than the stars in the sky. Sarah laughed at the promise of God since she was well past the child-bearing years, but God fulfilled his promise with the birth of Isaac. (You can read more about the story in Genesis 16-21.)

~Isaac, the son of Abraham and Sarah, married Rebekah. The Scriptures tell us in Genesis 25:21 that Isaac pleaded to the Lord for his wife who was barren. It was 20 years after their marriage that the Lord blessed Isaac and Rebekah with twin sons, Jacob and Esau.

~Jacob married sisters Rachel and Leah. Leah had six sons and a daughter, but the Lord had closed Rachel's womb. Rachel tried everything she could think of to have children. Once in anguish, she cried out to Jacob, "Give me children, or else I die" (Genesis 30:1). Jacob in anger replied, "Am I in God's stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?" It wasn't until the Lord opened her womb that she bore Joseph and Benjamin. She died giving birth to Benjamin.

~The Scriptures do not tell us the name of Samson's mother, but she was childless until an angel appeared to the wife of Manoah promising a male child, a Nazarite, who would judge the children of Israel (Judges 13).

~King David married Michal (daughter of King Saul). The Bible tells us in 2 Samuel 6:23 that Michal never bore children.

~Elkanah had two wives. His favorite wife Hannah was barren. Peninnah, the other wife, taunted Hannah since she had no children. Hannah pleaded with God to give her a son, promising to give him back to the Lord's work. God answered her prayer with the birth of Samuel, the last and greatest judge of Israel. (1 Samuel 1).

~2 Kings 4:8-17 relates the account of the Shunammite woman, whom the Bible calls the great woman. She was great in faith, wisdom, and silence. She opened her home to the prophet Elisha and made him his own little private chamber, a favorite place of retreat for him. Elisha wanted to repay the woman for her hospitality, but she made it clear that she was not seeking honor, recognition, or favors from him. Gehazi, Elisha's servant, told Elisha that the woman was barren and her husband was old. Elisha's promise that she would have a son when spring came around again was fulfilled.

~The Bible describes Elisabeth, the cousin of Mary who bore Jesus, as well-stricken in years and barren. She and her husband Zachariah had long already given up hope of ever bearing a child, when an angel appeared to Zachariah promising a son. That son was John the Baptist, the forerunner and greatest prophet who prepared the way for Jesus (See Luke 1 for the story.)



Psalm 113:9 "He maketh the barren woman to keep house and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD."

Infertility Veteran

I was on facebook the other day and I have RESOLVE as a friend on there and they had the question

When are you considered to be an infertility veteran?


here are some of the answers:

* when you can talk about it with others without bawling like a baby :)

* when you take everyones unprompted fertility advice with a grain of salt and a smile, nod, and "Thank you" :)

* I'm not sure you're only a veteran when you've actually gotten pregnant. I think you can be a veteran when you haven't been able to have a baby too, when you're able to talk to others and encourage them to realize that it's a long hard road and they aren't alone.

* When you reach the point where it doesnt make you cry EVERYTIME you think about it. When you've tried everything. When nothing works and you've been at it 5 years. When you want to start helping others and you start seeing mothers with babies and you don't want to punch them. =) haha jk.

* When you gotten passed all the emotional issues.

* When you get to the point of acceptance with your infertility. When you know every option available, and have done things you never even imagined you would. When you put yourself though dozens of painful tests. Also when you are comfortable with getting naked from the waste down.

* when ur not longer depressed about it and u just push through and ur always one step ahead and ready to move on to your next step incase urs doesnt work

* You're a veteran when you can start laughing about it, whether you've succeeded or not, you're a veteran when shots and needles and dildo-cam ultrasounds become you're "new normal". You're a veteran when you start thinking women who can't give themselves their own IM shots need to toughen up and get serious.

* Let's see...when you reach a point where you can mentor others who are just entering the world of "infertility". True some of us are more seasoned, but even those who have learned only a little have something to offer those who are just beginning their journey

* I would say you are a veteran after you get through the denial, you accept it, you educate yourself about it and then are willing to educate others.

* When you find you know more about your body, and reproduction in general, than your doctor. ;)

* When I was casually chatting about the weather naked from my bra down as my Dr bent over my exposed belly and removed sutures from my recent lap I realize I am an infertility veteran




ALOT of those are sooo true. I hate it for all of us, but in the end-it WILL make us all stronger :)

Infertility?

What is infertility?

I read somthing the other day that asked that same question. The Websters definition of infertility is this....

not fertile; unproductive; sterile; barren: infertile soil.


Medically, Infertility is defined as not being able to get pregnant despite having frequent, unprotected sex for at least a year.


What do you personally think infertility means?

For me, infertility is...

crying over and over again bc you get your period.

worrying bc you havent started a period, yet you have negative pregnancy tests

having the most personal details of your life looked at, charted, and talked about with complete strangers

3 years of the same thing over and over again, with no end result

Praying that one day, when you go to a follicle scan, that a baby will "magically" appear.

Learning funky new acronyms, such as LAP, IVF, IUI, ENDO, PCOS, CM, BD

Knowing that there are soo many different types of medications. Metformin, Clomid, Femara, Dostinex, Novarel, Gonal F, Follistim, Menopur, Bravelle

Infertility is defined by sooo much more, but for me-i choice it not to define me. Infertility may be somthing i have, but its not me. I will not let it get me down. GOd will bless me soon enough, and in the mean time-I just pray and pray.

Im going private

I think Im going to make my blog private from now on. I feel that maybe I need to do this. I will allow this to be open for a day or so, if you want to send me a comment w/ your email adress i can invite you to read my blog from now on. or if you dont want to leave your email adress on my blog, email me at crysandtravbennett06@yahoo.com (please tell me who you are and that you read my blog-or somthing like that, so i dont delete ya).

Thanks :)

Busy Saturday

Yesterday we had a busy day. We left at 8 am and drove to Johnson City (well, almost there) to a place called Doe River Gorge. Its a youth camp type thing that was alot of fun. They have ziplines, the blob, swimming places and paintball. We played paintball as a group and had alot of fun (even though we were all really hot) We got home around 8 last night. Travis and I both didnt feel well, so we went to bed around 9. I slept 13 hours and it felt great!! Lol.

Here is a link to where we were: http://www.doerivergorge.com/

On the ttc front: nothing really. Just waiting. Im about 5 days away from when my period SHOULD start. We'll see. Im praying real hard for God's blessings bc continuing on scares the pants off of me! Lol.

That's it for now.

cucumbers, banana peppers and zuchinni-o my!

look what we got from the garden :)

Fairytales??

Tell me, did Cinderella live happily ever after without a struggle?
Did sleeping beauty live happily ever after without a trauma?
Did Rapunzel live happily ever after without greif?
Did Hansel and Gretel live happily ever after without deprivation?
Did Jack and the beanstalk live happily ever after without risk?
Did Thumbelina live happily ever after withouth sacrifice?
Are there any fairytales without any dragons?

Where in the world, then, did we ever get the notion that to live happily ever after means to live without trouble? For when we look at fairy tales we find its not the absence of dragons-but the taming of dragons-that ushers in the happily ever after.

James 1:1-18

Lets recap, shall we?

Since its been 3 years since Trav and I have been ttc (again, trying to conceive) i thought Id recap the things that we have done... Lets see.

We started ttc in June 2007 (we got married in June 2006 and Trav said to give it a year and then we'd start ttc)

*June 2007 tried on our own.

*July 2007/Aug 2007 went to Dr Webb at watauga womens center for possible pg. pg test was positive, but ultrasound showed empty sac. chemical pg. Tests were ran. 3 hr glucose was done and pcos panel was also done. Ultrasound to confirm PCOS.

*Sept 2007 My first cycle on metformin. 1000mg

*Oct 2007 I actually ovulated on just metformin alone.

*December 2007 brought my first month of clomid 50mg. nothing happend on that cycle.

*Feb 2008 was my 2nd month of Clomid-100mg, nothing.

*April 2008 was my 3rd month on Clomid-150mg, nothing.

*June 2008 was my first month with the dr at CARS in Johnson City, TN. i started on
Femara 7.5mg that month, ovulated with 2 follicles, 17mm and 19mm but no pg

*July 2008 2nd month on femera with CARS. 7.5mg 2 follicles, 27mm and 28mm, no pg.
hcg trigger shot

*Aug 2008. 3rd month on femera with CARS. 7.5mg 3 follicles, 2-23mm and 1-19mm, no pg. hcg trigger shot

*Sept, Oct, Nov and Dec 2008 were break cycles

* Jan 2009 rest cycle

* Jan 27, 2009. HSG done at Wat Medical by Dr webb. Possible right tube blockage

* Feb 9, 2009 started at Lyndhurst in winston.

* March 2009 4th month on femara. Lyndhurst 2 follicles, 35mm and 24mm, hcg trigger shot. no pg.

* April 2009/May 2009 5th month on femera at Lyndhurst. 2 follicles, 20mm and 30mm. hcg trigger shot. Post coital test twice-both times failed. no pg

* May 2009/June 2009 6th month on femera at Lyndhurst. 2 follicles, 21mm and 19mm. hcg trigger shot. IUI on June 5, 2009 at 9:15 am. no pg

* June 2009/ July 2009. 7th month on femera at Lyndhurst. 2 follicles, 19mm and 14mm. hcg trigger shot, IUI on July 4 at 10:15am. no pg

* July/Aug 2009: July 27, 2009 Lap consult with Dr Parker.

* Aug 6, 2009. LAP surgery at 7am at Forsyth Medical. 1 hr procedure. outpatient. removed slight endo off of uterus/ovaries. both tubes are completly open :)

* Sept 2009/ October 2009: 8th month on femera. No dr apointments just timed intercouse. ovulation, but no pg.

* Oct 2009/ November 2009: 9th month on femera. No dr. timed intercourse, ovulation, no pg.

* November 2009/ December 2009: 10th month on femera. No dr apointments. timed intercourse

*Jan 2010: "Odd cycle" Femara on days 8-12. IUI and trigger. No pregnancy

*Feb 2010: Femara on days 1-4. Femara stopped working :-0. Start provera on day 19 to have period

March/April 2010: Bravelle-75iu per day. Days 3-22. Trigger on day 24 IUI on day 25 and day 26. Progesterone supplements twice a day. No pregnancy.

* April/May 2010: Birth Control pills for cycle.

* June 2010: Gonal F: 75iu days 3-12. 150iu of Gonal F days 13 and 14. Trigger on day 15. IUI on day 17. No pregnancy.

* July 2010: Femara on days 3-7. Pos opk on day 16. (in two-week-wait) No dr apointments and timed intercourse.



All those cycles of Femara and Gonal F have resulted in great follicles! (with the exception of the one Femara cycle) In Aug, I will start the Follistim(if im not pregnant from July) and then we'll go from there. I will start off w/ 150iu instead of 75iu.

Its interesting to see where Ive come from and where Im going.

Adoption

Like I said in the previous post, Travis and I have thought alot about adoption if I dont get pregnant by Dec. I have done minimal research on the topic. I have looked at a few websites for adoption. I havent really decided if international is the way or domestic. Fears for both. :-/ Still, like Ive said-this is all in the thought process right now-lol.

That being said, those of you who read this blog who have adopted, or know anyone who has, if you have any suggestions of agencies (just research right now-just to look at costs and cost schedules and to get things lined up-if you dont know, Im a very organized person-haha) If you also know of any attorney's that service in NC, let me know that as well :) Thanks.


On the ttc (trying to conceive) front, I ovulated and now Im waiting. The dreaded 2ww (two-week-wait) is horrible. LOL..

Other than that, nothing is really going on.

Plan B

So.. Travis and I have come up w/ a plan B. IF I dont get pregnant on my own we are going to try injections and iui in Aug. IF that doesnt work, Depending on how many follicles, we will do the aspiration/freezing thing. IF we have to do the "ivf type thing" we will do that in Sept. IF that doesnt work, then we just try on our own I guess. I am giving this until Dec. IF no pregnancy by then, we are going to start looking more into adoption.

We want to parent.

I would give ANYTHING to be able to experience pregnancy and birth, and all those joys, but i want to parent more. I want to be a mommy and he wants to be a daddy. We want to share all the love in our hearts with a child.

This is all still in my mind, still new in my head. We havent talked about what type of adoption or where. I think we are looking at Domestic, only because its cheaper and we'd like a newborn. I know the costs are what will hinder us from alot but we will have trust and faith in God and know that He will provide. We will probably have fundraisers and stuff to help raise money to help fund the adoption process.

Please pray for us, for God to help us through. This might sound horrible bc we would LOVE to adopt, but we are praying hard for this to work. If not, its great to have a plan B.

His Strength is Perfect

** This is from my daily devotional**

His Strength is Perfect

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in
weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9

My mother has really struggled with health over the last few years,
and has endured back, neck and brain surgeries. Even though she has
recovered, there are times when she still needs some help. One such
time was at a restaurant we visited for lunch. When she tried to get
out of the car, she found that she couldn’t quite make it by herself.
She hasn’t always been weak, and she won’t stay that way. But this
day, she needed to draw from my strength. When I saw that she needed
some help, I stepped between her and the open car door, reached out
and took her hand and helped her to stand. We then went inside and
had a nice time together.

What does this have to do with the struggle you face with trying your
best to bring a healthy, full-term baby into your home? It’s really
quite simple. Life has beaten you up. Your heart is wounded, and
there are times when you feel weak in battle. Christ promises to be
your strength.

Just like my Mom was that day, there are times when you will feel weak
in your fight. You’re tired of trusting, tired of trying. You just
want to have a baby! You don’t know how much more of this you can
take. You haven’t always been weak. You won’t always be. But today
was tough. Your bloodwork wasn’t quite as good as you hoped it would
be. Maybe you really thought this was the month, only to see that all
too familiar red stain when you went to the bathroom. Strength is
depleted and weakness takes its place. Where do you turn?

You turn to Jesus. Listen to Him whisper to you "My grace is
sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." When
my mom needed help, I stepped in, planted my feet and my strength made
up for the deficits in her ability. I pulled her to her feet when she
couldn’t do it for herself. Don’t you know that Jesus does the same
for you, and even more? His strength is perfect! He knows how to
step in at just the right time and pull you to your feet one more
time. When you don’t think you’ve got the strength to keep fighting
one more month, He’ll plant His feet and you can draw from His strength.

My mom could have refused me that day. She could have turned away
from me and not taken my hands, choosing instead to sit in the hot car
and wait while my dad and I had lunch. She would have been hot,
hungry and miserable when she could have had her needs met.

Don’t refuse to let Jesus be your strength on days when you feel
weak. How do we do that? By not calling out to Him when it hurts.
When a bad test result knocks you to the ground, it’s sometimes easier
to give Jesus the cold shoulder and shut down our prayer life while we
lick our wounds. Why not turn to him instead? Tell Him where it
hurts and let Him pull you back to your feet again.

His strength is perfect when you feel weak. His strength never
lessens. He never gets tired. Let Him carry you in the hard times

Today is the day.....

.... That I got a positive OPK (Ovulation test) Sooooo... ya know what that means;-) YAY! Im hoping and praying that things work on their own this month and I dont have to worry about shots, ultrasounds, meds, etc next month. Pray pray pray! We shall see in a couple of weeks.

Travis and I got our lounge chairs today from walmart. They came in while we were on vacation :) love them. They are comfy. I will have to take pics later to post-haha. Hopefully next summer we can get a matching table set. We'll see :)

Other than that-we are having a relaxing Sat at home.

Look what I came home to :)

Look what I saw in my garden when I got home :)

Isaiah 41:10

**** I read this on another bloggers post and loved how she put everything into perspective. Please note-I did not write this. This is from this blog: http://pregnantwithhope.wordpress.com

Every time we felt our heads going under water, we found our feet under us. Whenever we felt we couldn’t go on any longer, we’d get a moment of unexpected rest. God was keeping His promise, “Don’t be afraid, because I am with you. Don’t be intimidated; I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will support you with my victorious right hand” [Isaiah 41:10].

So is that verse from Isaiah my favorite? No, because God gave us more than just the strength to withstand. He transformed our struggles into these valuable lessons:

1) Take nothing for granted – Not life, not health, not prosperity or safety. Not a baby’s heart beat, or a family’s support. It’s all a gift. We realized we are not entitled to joy, and it is never guaranteed. So when those amazing moments come, we should pause and give God our thanks.

2) Value each other’s contributions – Neither of us could have survived the onslaught of stress and grief alone. We needed each other’s love, humor, grace, and tears. Every trial strengthened our commitment to protecting our relationship at all costs. That forged a solid foundation for our family.

3) Learn to trust God’s plan and purpose – We would never have written our script; we would have made everything come easily. But in hindsight, we see that the struggle made us stronger – our faith, our marriage, our passion for parenting, our sense of purpose. Everything is more focused, concentrated, purposeful. It has surprised us… but not God.

So, given all that, this is my favorite verse: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” [Romans 8:28]. Our journey gave us the proof. We now know the power of this promise, and the peace that comes from claiming it in the midst of any circumstances.

Don’t be afraid of the hard road. It leads you to God’s very best.

come out, come out wherever you are...

I have this thing on the bottom of my blog where I can see people who read my blog. Well, there are tons of people-so I was wondering who you are and where you are from :) Id like to know a little bit about you.

Infertility, why me?

I found this on someone else's blog and thought it was suiting and that Id share it.

~What God meant when he gave me infertility..

Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive advice. We can list all the most popular ones: Just relax and you’ll get pregnant”, or “adopt and you’ll get pregnant,” of the most painful from those who think they’ve got the goods on God’s plan, “Maybe God never meant for you to have children.” The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me. These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say “Maybe God never meant for you to live.” However, because I am infertile, I’m supposed to get on with my life. It’s hard to understand that people can not see infertility for what it is, a disease for which I have to seek treatment. What if Jonas Salk had said to the parents of polio victims, “Maybe God meant for thousands of our children to be cripples, live in an iron lung, or die. What if he’d never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that was God's plan?

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility. No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I’m on. I’ve been placed on the road less traveled, and more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven’t let him down. Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I’ve ever known. While I would never have chose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I’ll say " Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know."

Do not be anxious???

‎'Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.' Philippians 4:6


As you all know, we have decided to ttc(try to conceive) this month by ourselves w/ out the drs. I did take Femara on days 3-7. I have been taking opks (ovulation predictor kits) and nothing so far. I am on day 13, and in the past w/ just femara I have ovulated on day 15-17 so I guess I need to be patient (ha! yea right!) I will just wait it out and enjoy this time off. Im anxious to get things on the move, but I have to wait and wait upon God.




Other than that, our vacation is going great! We have really enjoyed ourselves. Yesterday we went to see Knight and Day' it was good. We had lunch at our fav place, Mcalisters and then went to Magiquest (pics on the previous post) and played blacklight mini golf and did a mirror maze. It was a great time. We had dinner at Mellow Mushroom, then came home to just enjoy a movie on tv. Trav was romantic and drew me a bath in the jacuzzi w/ rose petals :) it was sweet.

Other than that.... I must be patient...

Blacklight mini golf... mirror maze...

Here are a few more pics. Today we went to the Magiquest and we did blacklight mini golf, a laser vault, and a mirror maze. Here are a few pics from that and the pic of the front of the cabin.

Beary Nice

Beary Nice indeed...

That's the name of our cabin in gatlinburg :) I love it! Here are a few pics... more to come...

Lock-In

Last night we had a lock-in at the church for the youth. It was very tiring, but fun. We had a few youth show up and they had a great time. We played wii, xbox 360, and they had a bunch of snacks. I crashed at about 12am and then the rest of them crashed around 4:30am! Lol. We woke up and had pop tarts.

Ive been busy getting everything ready for our vacation. I cant wait-I absolutly cant wait!! I just know that it will be good for us to get away and have time together. Im also praying we will come back w/ a little souvenir ;-)

On the ttc (trying to conceive) front. Nothing really. Thur night was my last night of Femara-Thank God!!! I didnt know how many more headaches I could take from it. I hope that it all works out!

That's about all. Nothing else going on.

New results :)

Oh-I meant to say. At my dr apointment on Sun, my nurse re-did my day 3 blood levels. She checked my prolactin and FSH. Prolactin was originally high (I think it was like 30-40) and when she measured it on Sun it was 10!!!! YAY!!! I think anything under 20 is good. I was on meds for it, but I forgot to get a refill and hadnt been taking it for 6 months or longer-lol. So... Im excited to have somthing looking normal! HAHA. My FSH was normal too-she didnt tell me the levels, but she said everything looked normal :) YAY! So thats my good news for the day!!

Im still taking my Femara, today is the 3rd day. So far so good. Im not even getting a mid cycle ultrasound this time around :) I cant wait to see what God does this month!!! If I dont get pregnant, I will still have a great plan for the next coming months.

Travis put up a new ceiling fan in the living room today. We've actually had it for about a year, but he just now got time to put it up. It looks great!!! (I will have to add a pic later) and I love how it matches-Lol. We put the old one in the "blue" room (soon to be "orange" room). We have 2 white ones, and one is going in the "baby" (or "green") room. and the other is going up as I type this, in the bedroom-YAY.

We ate our first 2 cucumbers from the garden tonight w/ our salads. I was soo excited!!! They were really good. We have about 2 more that look like they are almost ready! The peppers are finally coming along, they are a little slow. I think the zuchini will be next, I think we have about 2-3 that are starting to come up (again, pics will come later-lol) but I cant wait! Im sooo glad we got some cucumbers-lol. (even if it was just the 2, sooo worth it!)

Other than that, nothing going on. I have the "towel/bathing suit" bag packed for our trip and we have most of the food that we are taking w/ us, together. i cant wait to just get away. I think that Trav is going to pay for me to have a massage done :) I really need one, but Im sort of leary-lol.

That's about all..

One week from today :)

YAY!!! One week from today we will be in Pigeon Forge in a nice cabin!!! YAY!!!

here is the link for where we are staying:

http://www.amazingviewsofthesmokies.com/EscapiaPages/Property-Details.aspx?unitCode=1436-43419

Looks pretty great, huh. Lol. I just want to get away and not have any worries. I will miss my babies at daycare, and my Oreo and Vince.



I had a great day off work today. I cleaned like never before. I cleaned out both rooms, the green one and the blue one. Im hoping to have the blue one done soon so that I can start painting it. Im about tired of that blue color! Lol. I love my green one though :)

I was so excited, I went to water my garden and there was a zuchinni growing!! (2 of them actually) I was so excited. I forgot to take a pic of it though, I will have to later. My cucumbers are about ready to pick. (2 of them and many more are growing)the peppers are slow. This is exciting. I cant wait to grow more next year. I think I will try one more shot at tomatoes. Here is on my list for next summer (yeah, a little early) Tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers (if they ever grow) zuchinni, squash, lettuce (looks pretty easy to grow) watermelon, canteloupe and idk what else. Lol.

That was a pretty random post, sorry about all that.

We have growth......

..... in the garden!!! ;-)

I went out to water my little garden and i found some cute little cucumbers and some more peppers popping out :) The zuchini (no, I cant spell)has tons of flowers, so they should be growing soon :)

here are some pics of my progress!

Happy 4th of July!!!

Happy 4th of July!!! I hope its a great one :)

My dr apointment went great. Very quiet ovaries-which is what I wanted to see/hear! I start on Femara (5mg) tonight and take it on days 3-7. We will try on our own this month and if it happens then AWESOME! If not, its okay. Sort of like a break month for us. We will be going on vacation soon, so hopefully that will do us some good :)

My plan IF I dont get pregnant in July is to do another injections/iui round in Aug. I will start out by doing 150iu of Follistim and then iui. IF that produces too many follicles, then I will be sent to the hospital and they will aspirate all but 3 follicles. I will do an iui w/ the 3 follicles. The ones they aspirate will be frozen and used for Sept (IF I dont get pregnant in Aug) IF I dont get pregnant in Aug, they will thaw out my eggs and put Trav's sperm into them and do a transfer (sort of like an ivf cycle or I guess a FET cycle) The aspiration and freezing will cost about $1,000 and IF we need it, the transfer and injection of trav's sperm will be about $2,500. So that's not bad. The reason its so cheap is bc its sort of like a clinical trial type thing. They have a new freezing machine thing and they are trying it out. They have had great success w/ the eggs that have been thawed out (all the women have gotten pregnant) so that sounds good to me

I am very pleased w/ having a plan!! All together it will cost us around $3500 so.... pray that God provides for us. There are alot of expenses that will be coming up w/ all of this and this is somthing that we really want to do (if need be) I feel that this will get us our baby/babies. God is going to provide, and we have faith that this will all work out :)

Thanks for all your prayers, love and support!

My garden and new happenings...

I dont know if I said a while back or not, but I decided to do a little box garden in our backyard. We planted cucumbers, red... green.. and yellow peppers, banana peppers and zuchini. I had planted tomatoes, but apparently I will just stick to buying those in the store-lol. (They all died)

This is what my little garden looked like....



and this is what it looks like now!!!




I cant believe how big its all gotten. I think we should def be seeing some peppers come soon :) ** I will have to add pics, but im starting to get little pepper buds!!! ** Im very pleased...




We are starting to do some more around the house, not much, but some. The "Blue room"



will soon be the "orange room" Not bright orange... (like my green room-lol) but a deep orange. We have to clean it out and stuff. one day, id really like to replace the nasty carpet!!!

We are in the process of trying to find some loungers for outside so we can start using our firepit more often. Im excited about that :)


That's about all the news that we have going on. I thought you'd like to read about other things besides us TTC (trying to conceive-lol)

Day 3 ultrasound

I got an email from my nurse today and my day 3 ultrasound is set for Sunday, July 4 at 9:15. This will determine what we do next. Either we try another shot at Femara and timed intercourse or I will be put back on bc pills for the month of July. After July, if we dont get pregnant, we will do about 1-2 more rounds of injections w/ IUI. Hoping and praying that we receive our blessing. I have to keep telling myself that its only a 20% chance each month (but you'd think after 3 years, that'd be a HUGE increase in chance-lol) In the meantime, I will just pray and I will just trust that God knows what Hes doing :) Im also looking into grants for IVF and clinical trials. Most the clinical trials that we found take place in NY. NY isnt far, and it wont be bad if we can do the ultrasounds here in NC. Idk yet. I have a great group of friends, who have helped me look into studies and what to ask, look for-things like that. Travis will graduate in Dec w/ his masters degree and then probably in Jan, if we've not gotten pregnant by then (I pray that we have) we will persue foster care (idk, we might still persue it even if we are pregnant-if that's allowed) I know that God is looking out for us and has the perfect child/children in mind! We are totally open to adoption, so if that's the way-we are just waiting for God to show us.... :) In the meantime, just pray. Just pray for patience for travis and I (mostly me-lol) that we can listen and understand God's ways. That He knows the plans for us... and that He knows what HE's doing.... Thanks :)