We do not walk alone...
Most importantly the Bible tells us that Jesus calls us to himself. We do not walk alone but God himself walks with us in our pain.
Jesus says:
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)
One way of doing this is by praying and sharing our pain with Jesus.
Below is a Celtic Prayer called "Coping with infertility" and is inspired by the Christian Celtic tradition.
Gracious God, we long for a child and find our hearts shaved of hope
as month after month we go childless.
The love we have to give and share with a child fills us to the brim,
but that love seems thwarted when our longing is not fulfilled.
Look with tenderness on us, O God.
Let the disappointment that hangs over us be lifted by the joy of your touch.
Give us the patience that will re-build hope
as we wait for the fullness of our love in the high calling of parenthood.
We ask this for the sake of your love. Amen
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Hannah
Hannah's Story
Hannah is perhaps best known for her struggle with infertility.
The book of 1 Samuel begins with the verses
"1 There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. 2 He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none." (1 Samuel 1:1-2)
I always reflect on what could be worse than feeling you have disappointed your husband by not being able to get pregnant? To be one of your husbands two wives, always being compared to her and her abundance of children. Not only was her husbands other wife extremely fertile; it was not a healthy relationship...
"6 And because the LORD had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. 7 This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. 8 Elkanah her husband would say to her, "Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don't you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?" (1 Samuel 1:6-8)
Yet one thing I love about the image we have of Hannah in the Bible is of her honesty and of her pouring out her pain and heartbreak to God. Rather than become bitter and turn from God she reaches out to him at her time of need and calls on him to answer her prayer.
"10 In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. 11 And she made a vow, saying, "O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head."
12 As she kept on praying to the LORD, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, "How long will you keep on getting drunk? Get rid of your wine."
15 "Not so, my lord," Hannah replied, "I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the LORD. 16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief." (1 Samuel 1:10-16)
And God answers her prayer. And this answer is Samuel, who becomes a famous priest of God.
What does the story of Hannah teach us?
What do we learn from Hannah?
God wants us to turn to him. We don't have to pretend we are without pain, but can give this to God and know that he can answer our prayers.
"In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD."
In Hannah's words - "I am a woman who is deeply troubled... pouring out my soul to the LORD... out of my great anguish and grief." (1 Samuel 1:10-16)
There is no pretense that she is not hurting, not blindly trusting God but really wrestling with the pain of infertility.
I know that I too can take my pain to the creator of the universe and pour out my soul to him.
Hannah is perhaps best known for her struggle with infertility.
The book of 1 Samuel begins with the verses
"1 There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. 2 He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none." (1 Samuel 1:1-2)
I always reflect on what could be worse than feeling you have disappointed your husband by not being able to get pregnant? To be one of your husbands two wives, always being compared to her and her abundance of children. Not only was her husbands other wife extremely fertile; it was not a healthy relationship...
"6 And because the LORD had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. 7 This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. 8 Elkanah her husband would say to her, "Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don't you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?" (1 Samuel 1:6-8)
Yet one thing I love about the image we have of Hannah in the Bible is of her honesty and of her pouring out her pain and heartbreak to God. Rather than become bitter and turn from God she reaches out to him at her time of need and calls on him to answer her prayer.
"10 In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. 11 And she made a vow, saying, "O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head."
12 As she kept on praying to the LORD, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, "How long will you keep on getting drunk? Get rid of your wine."
15 "Not so, my lord," Hannah replied, "I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the LORD. 16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief." (1 Samuel 1:10-16)
And God answers her prayer. And this answer is Samuel, who becomes a famous priest of God.
What does the story of Hannah teach us?
What do we learn from Hannah?
God wants us to turn to him. We don't have to pretend we are without pain, but can give this to God and know that he can answer our prayers.
"In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD."
In Hannah's words - "I am a woman who is deeply troubled... pouring out my soul to the LORD... out of my great anguish and grief." (1 Samuel 1:10-16)
There is no pretense that she is not hurting, not blindly trusting God but really wrestling with the pain of infertility.
I know that I too can take my pain to the creator of the universe and pour out my soul to him.
Sarah
Sarah's Story
the wife of Abraham
Sarah is married to Abraham. She is unable to conceive, although married for many years. Eventually she is not only unable to conceive but beyond childbearing years. (ie she is old as well...)
Ironically she is married to Abraham who has been promised descendants that will number like the stars in the sky and the sand on a beach. A great promise and yet for Abraham and Sarah, the fulfilment seems beyond all reach.
It is at this point that The Lord comes to Abraham once more.
"Then the LORD said, I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son. Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him.
11 Abraham and Sarah were already old and well advanced in years, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing.
12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought,
After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?
13 Then the LORD said to Abraham, Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?'
14 Is anything too hard for the LORD? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son.
And the result??? Not long after this Sarah and Abraham's son Isaac is born, one of the great patriarchs of the Jewish people.
"For nothing is impossible with God" (Luke 1:37)
What does the story of Sarah teach us?
God is faithful to his promises. What he promised to Abraham and Sarah he was faithful in fulfilling. God does not make this exact same promise to each of us but we do learn something else from Sarah's story:
God is the giver of life and he can bring about miracles. We do not know what God may be doing in our lives - even when it seems like he is not doing anything at all.
God can surprise us!
the wife of Abraham
Sarah is married to Abraham. She is unable to conceive, although married for many years. Eventually she is not only unable to conceive but beyond childbearing years. (ie she is old as well...)
Ironically she is married to Abraham who has been promised descendants that will number like the stars in the sky and the sand on a beach. A great promise and yet for Abraham and Sarah, the fulfilment seems beyond all reach.
It is at this point that The Lord comes to Abraham once more.
"Then the LORD said, I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son. Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him.
11 Abraham and Sarah were already old and well advanced in years, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing.
12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought,
After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?
13 Then the LORD said to Abraham, Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?'
14 Is anything too hard for the LORD? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son.
And the result??? Not long after this Sarah and Abraham's son Isaac is born, one of the great patriarchs of the Jewish people.
"For nothing is impossible with God" (Luke 1:37)
What does the story of Sarah teach us?
God is faithful to his promises. What he promised to Abraham and Sarah he was faithful in fulfilling. God does not make this exact same promise to each of us but we do learn something else from Sarah's story:
God is the giver of life and he can bring about miracles. We do not know what God may be doing in our lives - even when it seems like he is not doing anything at all.
God can surprise us!
The Bible and infertility
Yes, even way back then, there was women w/ infertility...
Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Hannah, Elizabeth
Just to name a few...
There are many stories of women in the Bible who struggle with infertility and the pain of not having children.
The Bible not only shares the stories of these "barren women" but also offers hope and comfort during these times.
God indeed is the creator of life and the God of comfort and peace.
I will share some of their stories from the Bible and other verses that offer hope to those who may also consider themselves "barren" today.
But more important than finding out about the stories of these women is the possibility of finding our own hope in this journey; to be encouraged in whatever stage of our journeys we are at.
Check out the next couple of posts about each woman in the Bible....
(no, i didnt write all those-lol. i found all this info online)
Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Hannah, Elizabeth
Just to name a few...
There are many stories of women in the Bible who struggle with infertility and the pain of not having children.
The Bible not only shares the stories of these "barren women" but also offers hope and comfort during these times.
God indeed is the creator of life and the God of comfort and peace.
I will share some of their stories from the Bible and other verses that offer hope to those who may also consider themselves "barren" today.
But more important than finding out about the stories of these women is the possibility of finding our own hope in this journey; to be encouraged in whatever stage of our journeys we are at.
Check out the next couple of posts about each woman in the Bible....
(no, i didnt write all those-lol. i found all this info online)
Monday, January 10, 2011
Introducing.....
Bella Bennett :)
We got her on Sat. She is part black lab (we think, as do our friends we got her from) and a bunch of other dog breeds-HAHA! She has a white chest, and a few white places on her paws (all but 1)
She is a pretty good puppy so far ;-) She is starting to learn to potty outside and when she doesnt go outside, she goes on her puppy pads pretty well. She is only 6 weeks old.
So for now, she's our new baby :)
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
New year, new hope??
Maybe.
I think 2011 will be a very exciting year for Travis and I. We already have great plans in the making.
Travis will continue his other job at Wilkes teaching his night class, and hopefully he will get a job in updating the website for the Farmers Market. We are unsure about that yet.
We will start doing more things w/ the church as we learn and grow (as a big family) We will start meeting in groups, but Im not sure on what nights. Im excited to see what God has in store for us there :) The change has been a good one so far!
We will start doing the foster care classes in the spring, regardless of how things go. I think Id like to have a foster care liscense, whether or not we get pregnant. I think. ;-)
We already have thoughts for our trip this summer, but in order for us to do that, we need money. HAHA. that we dont have right now. I am thinking the beach, for sure. I loved pigeon forge and would love to go back, but I think a beach trip is what I need. Heck, id love to go to Maine, but i dont think that's in the cards for us :)
It will be a different year, but a great year. Hopefully with LESS heartache and more joyous occasions. We shall see.
I cant believe Travis and I will both be 27 this year, Im starting to feel old and Im sure my parents/grandparents are as well. Heck, even my siblings are starting to seem old. In just a few short days, Bobby (my brother) will be 24. See, just seems like yesterday I turned 24!
This will also be a great year, bc in March we will be together for 10 years :-) 10 WONDERFUL years w/ travis. We started dating on March 6, 2001.
In June we will be MARRIED for 5 years :) We got married on June 24, 2006. These 5 years have been the best ever!!!
but sadly, in June it will mark 4 years of us ttc (trying to conceive) God only knows why its taken this long, and we will just live day by day :)
That's about all Ive got coming up. I cant WAIT to see what He has in store for us this coming year, I just know it has to be a good one :)
I think 2011 will be a very exciting year for Travis and I. We already have great plans in the making.
Travis will continue his other job at Wilkes teaching his night class, and hopefully he will get a job in updating the website for the Farmers Market. We are unsure about that yet.
We will start doing more things w/ the church as we learn and grow (as a big family) We will start meeting in groups, but Im not sure on what nights. Im excited to see what God has in store for us there :) The change has been a good one so far!
We will start doing the foster care classes in the spring, regardless of how things go. I think Id like to have a foster care liscense, whether or not we get pregnant. I think. ;-)
We already have thoughts for our trip this summer, but in order for us to do that, we need money. HAHA. that we dont have right now. I am thinking the beach, for sure. I loved pigeon forge and would love to go back, but I think a beach trip is what I need. Heck, id love to go to Maine, but i dont think that's in the cards for us :)
It will be a different year, but a great year. Hopefully with LESS heartache and more joyous occasions. We shall see.
I cant believe Travis and I will both be 27 this year, Im starting to feel old and Im sure my parents/grandparents are as well. Heck, even my siblings are starting to seem old. In just a few short days, Bobby (my brother) will be 24. See, just seems like yesterday I turned 24!
This will also be a great year, bc in March we will be together for 10 years :-) 10 WONDERFUL years w/ travis. We started dating on March 6, 2001.
In June we will be MARRIED for 5 years :) We got married on June 24, 2006. These 5 years have been the best ever!!!
but sadly, in June it will mark 4 years of us ttc (trying to conceive) God only knows why its taken this long, and we will just live day by day :)
That's about all Ive got coming up. I cant WAIT to see what He has in store for us this coming year, I just know it has to be a good one :)
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
uh... duh..
(those are the words that come to mind when I stare at this page-haha)
So... I know, I know, I have been a bad blogger. In all honsety-Idk what to write. I have sat here numerous times and just looked at this trying to think of what to type here.
And it came to me...
Its my blog, my thoughts, my rants, my wants, my hopes and my fears, so I can write whatever I dang well please :)
Soo... since Christmas is in a couple of days. I thought Id write about what my family is doing for Christmas/New Years this year.
For Christmas Eve Travis and I are going to his parents house and we eat a Brunch there. Then we are headed to church around 6 and do a communion service there. Then we head to my parents and we have a seafood dinner :) YUM. i cant wait!!! Then we head home. On Christmas day we are supposed to have breakfast at our house, but not if we dont get any propane before then(we are almost out-on the red) Then we will hang around the house a while and then off to my parents for Lasagna. :) YUM. The day after we do the Gilley Christmas get-together. It will be a fun, and tiring day.
This Christmas is a little harder for me. I have lost somthing very precious to me that I cant get back-i have lost my baby. I know that he is up in Heaven w/ God and just having a grand ol time w/ all his friends and causing tons of trouble. But I want my baby here on earth w/ me. I want him to be growing in me, bc that's where he was supposed to be. I know that God needed him more than I do-so I will have to just let that fact go... my baby is gone. (and no, I didnt know the gender of my baby-but I have always felt that I would have a boy first.)
Im praying hard for a Christmas/New Years miracle (hint hint), and our baby will be just that-a miracle. I know ALL babies are miracles, but ours will really be one. 1) I dont ovulate, 2)I have endometriosis, 3) I have a hostile cervix and that kills off all sperm that enter, 4) We have been trying for 4 years (almost) and have never gotten pregnant naturally-or "un-natural" for that matter. It will really be a true miracle from God if I were to get pregnant "on my own". and who knows how my body will handle a pregnancy.... we'll see and we will leave it all up to God when the time comes, if the time comes. But im really praying and trusting God for one. (hint hint)
We are still undecided about what to do next and when. We have enough meds for one more, and final, IUI so we might do that in the spring. We are also wanting to persue foster care/adoption.. so we might start those classes in the spring as well. right now, Im at the stage where "ah well, whatever happens,.., nothing has happend yet" that kind of stage. Lol. is there such a thing?? So just keep praying for us that our miracle will be brought to us in such a surprise that I wont even know how to contain myself but w/ prayer-and of course, TONS of tears! Lol.
Okay, I know you have read enough and heard enough of my rants, but like I said.. its my blog-I can say what I want and you can choose to read it or not. :)
So... I know, I know, I have been a bad blogger. In all honsety-Idk what to write. I have sat here numerous times and just looked at this trying to think of what to type here.
And it came to me...
Its my blog, my thoughts, my rants, my wants, my hopes and my fears, so I can write whatever I dang well please :)
Soo... since Christmas is in a couple of days. I thought Id write about what my family is doing for Christmas/New Years this year.
For Christmas Eve Travis and I are going to his parents house and we eat a Brunch there. Then we are headed to church around 6 and do a communion service there. Then we head to my parents and we have a seafood dinner :) YUM. i cant wait!!! Then we head home. On Christmas day we are supposed to have breakfast at our house, but not if we dont get any propane before then(we are almost out-on the red) Then we will hang around the house a while and then off to my parents for Lasagna. :) YUM. The day after we do the Gilley Christmas get-together. It will be a fun, and tiring day.
This Christmas is a little harder for me. I have lost somthing very precious to me that I cant get back-i have lost my baby. I know that he is up in Heaven w/ God and just having a grand ol time w/ all his friends and causing tons of trouble. But I want my baby here on earth w/ me. I want him to be growing in me, bc that's where he was supposed to be. I know that God needed him more than I do-so I will have to just let that fact go... my baby is gone. (and no, I didnt know the gender of my baby-but I have always felt that I would have a boy first.)
Im praying hard for a Christmas/New Years miracle (hint hint), and our baby will be just that-a miracle. I know ALL babies are miracles, but ours will really be one. 1) I dont ovulate, 2)I have endometriosis, 3) I have a hostile cervix and that kills off all sperm that enter, 4) We have been trying for 4 years (almost) and have never gotten pregnant naturally-or "un-natural" for that matter. It will really be a true miracle from God if I were to get pregnant "on my own". and who knows how my body will handle a pregnancy.... we'll see and we will leave it all up to God when the time comes, if the time comes. But im really praying and trusting God for one. (hint hint)
We are still undecided about what to do next and when. We have enough meds for one more, and final, IUI so we might do that in the spring. We are also wanting to persue foster care/adoption.. so we might start those classes in the spring as well. right now, Im at the stage where "ah well, whatever happens,.., nothing has happend yet" that kind of stage. Lol. is there such a thing?? So just keep praying for us that our miracle will be brought to us in such a surprise that I wont even know how to contain myself but w/ prayer-and of course, TONS of tears! Lol.
Okay, I know you have read enough and heard enough of my rants, but like I said.. its my blog-I can say what I want and you can choose to read it or not. :)
Sunday, December 12, 2010
My 2010....
2010 was a long and hard and trying year for us. It was also a great year of new and exciting things.
Lets see:
Jan: The start of 2010. IUI #3-failed
Feb: Femara stopped working... a break cycle.
March: Started on injections.
Went to Acquire the Fire
Applied for a new job
April went to my first Skillet concert :)
IUI #4 (back to back)-failed
Travis turned 26 (on Easter Sun)
May: First time EVER on birth control pills... hated them!
June: Turned 26
Celebrated 4 years marriage to Travis :)
MORE shots.
IUI #5-FAILED
July: Femara again-failed
Went to Pigeon Forge and stayed in a cabin for the first time.
Started thinking more and more about adoption
Started a garden
Aug: Injections-again.
First ever egg aspiration.
First time on any type of relaxation med-lol.
IUI #6-failed
Froze 3 eggs for future use.
Sept: Realized we had spent $10,000 in fert treatments *sigh*
Started on progesterone shots
started on estrogen patches, 2 diff kinds.
learned i had slow flowing blood
Never had I ever wanted to punch someone so much when I learned my cycle was messed up
Oct: hardest month of my life
NEVER did I think id experience such heartache, such pain, and such sadness
Thawed out my 3 eggs, and only 1 made it.
Lost my 1 embryo-my baby-on Oct 9, 2010.
Learned what it was like to have my heart ripped out and stomped on.
Learned to draw near to Travis and God.
Learned that Im strong enough and can move on... as hard as it may be.
National Pregnancy and Infant loss day-oct 15-never thought id "participate"
made a huge choice leaving mt Jefferson Baptist, but God needed us elsewhere
Learned who my TRUE friends are.
Nov: Thanksgiving
Provera month
Went to Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg w/ friends from work.
Went to Dixie Stampede
Acid reflux started-lol
Dec: Went to Nashville
Tennessee Titans game
Country Music Hall of Fame
First big snow
3 and 1/2 years of trying for our miracle... hoping we get a Christmas one.
So that's 2010 in a nutshell.. maybe 2011 will be more interesting?? We shall see. That one is up to God ;-)
Lets see:
Jan: The start of 2010. IUI #3-failed
Feb: Femara stopped working... a break cycle.
March: Started on injections.
Went to Acquire the Fire
Applied for a new job
April went to my first Skillet concert :)
IUI #4 (back to back)-failed
Travis turned 26 (on Easter Sun)
May: First time EVER on birth control pills... hated them!
June: Turned 26
Celebrated 4 years marriage to Travis :)
MORE shots.
IUI #5-FAILED
July: Femara again-failed
Went to Pigeon Forge and stayed in a cabin for the first time.
Started thinking more and more about adoption
Started a garden
Aug: Injections-again.
First ever egg aspiration.
First time on any type of relaxation med-lol.
IUI #6-failed
Froze 3 eggs for future use.
Sept: Realized we had spent $10,000 in fert treatments *sigh*
Started on progesterone shots
started on estrogen patches, 2 diff kinds.
learned i had slow flowing blood
Never had I ever wanted to punch someone so much when I learned my cycle was messed up
Oct: hardest month of my life
NEVER did I think id experience such heartache, such pain, and such sadness
Thawed out my 3 eggs, and only 1 made it.
Lost my 1 embryo-my baby-on Oct 9, 2010.
Learned what it was like to have my heart ripped out and stomped on.
Learned to draw near to Travis and God.
Learned that Im strong enough and can move on... as hard as it may be.
National Pregnancy and Infant loss day-oct 15-never thought id "participate"
made a huge choice leaving mt Jefferson Baptist, but God needed us elsewhere
Learned who my TRUE friends are.
Nov: Thanksgiving
Provera month
Went to Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg w/ friends from work.
Went to Dixie Stampede
Acid reflux started-lol
Dec: Went to Nashville
Tennessee Titans game
Country Music Hall of Fame
First big snow
3 and 1/2 years of trying for our miracle... hoping we get a Christmas one.
So that's 2010 in a nutshell.. maybe 2011 will be more interesting?? We shall see. That one is up to God ;-)
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Just Because
Just because you work in a hospital doesnt make you a doctor..
just because you go to church, doesnt make you a pastor (or even a Christian at times)
Just because you drive a truck, doesnt make you a trucker...
Just because you read, doesnt make you a teacher..
Just because you are a waiter/waitress, doesnt make you a cook/chef...
Just because you are woman, doesnt make you a mother...
Just because I have no child, doesnt mean I have no life....
Just because Im done trying... doesnt mean I dont still hurt, still cry, still greive...
Just because I lost you... doesnt mean I will forget you.... i will always love you.
Just because I cant get pregnant... doesnt mean I will never be a parent...
Just because I hurt, I cry, I greive... does NOT mean I cant be happy, healthy, and full of life...
Just think about it.
just because you go to church, doesnt make you a pastor (or even a Christian at times)
Just because you drive a truck, doesnt make you a trucker...
Just because you read, doesnt make you a teacher..
Just because you are a waiter/waitress, doesnt make you a cook/chef...
Just because you are woman, doesnt make you a mother...
Just because I have no child, doesnt mean I have no life....
Just because Im done trying... doesnt mean I dont still hurt, still cry, still greive...
Just because I lost you... doesnt mean I will forget you.... i will always love you.
Just because I cant get pregnant... doesnt mean I will never be a parent...
Just because I hurt, I cry, I greive... does NOT mean I cant be happy, healthy, and full of life...
Just think about it.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg
This weekend the gals and I went to pigeon forge/gatlinburg and had a great time!!! 3of us got there on Friday and 3 on Sat. We stayed at an awesome hotel, michelle's timeshare, and we even saw a bear! Lol. It was cool. We went to Dixie Stampede and shopping at the Tanger Outlets.
They made me watch a scary movie, the Strangers, I about had a heart attack! I do not watch scary movies! EICK.
Dixie Stampede was really cool and I was soo glad that I went. Since its around Christmas they did a Christmas show w/ live animals, a live nativity and everything. I really enjoyed it. and even ate the chicken! Lol
Friday, November 12, 2010
baby this... baby that...
Baby???
today got me thinking.
I am very excited to be working towards adoption/foster care. Of course we havent done much towards it but get the house together. We wont be attending the adoption seminar until Jan 8. I cant wait for it! lol.
We will start the foster care classes-MAPP training-in the spring when the weather gets warmer. Hopefully by the summer we will have a child in our home :)
What got me thinking today was that we got a babies r us card in the mail :) I was excited. HAHA. Yes, its a store card, but no-we will not be using it-unless we need to. I thought itd be a good one to have. ;-)
In the meantime, Im trying to decide if i want to do the final IUI in Jan or if i just want to let it go. on one hand I do... on the other i dont. I have the meds, we have the money to pay for the iui.
i have enjoyed not shooting myself daily w/ hormones...
I have enjoyed the working time and not the back and forth to the drs...
I have enjoyed LESS stress...
Idk what to do. We shall see how God provides in the next couple of months... bc Im darn excited!
today got me thinking.
I am very excited to be working towards adoption/foster care. Of course we havent done much towards it but get the house together. We wont be attending the adoption seminar until Jan 8. I cant wait for it! lol.
We will start the foster care classes-MAPP training-in the spring when the weather gets warmer. Hopefully by the summer we will have a child in our home :)
What got me thinking today was that we got a babies r us card in the mail :) I was excited. HAHA. Yes, its a store card, but no-we will not be using it-unless we need to. I thought itd be a good one to have. ;-)
In the meantime, Im trying to decide if i want to do the final IUI in Jan or if i just want to let it go. on one hand I do... on the other i dont. I have the meds, we have the money to pay for the iui.
i have enjoyed not shooting myself daily w/ hormones...
I have enjoyed the working time and not the back and forth to the drs...
I have enjoyed LESS stress...
Idk what to do. We shall see how God provides in the next couple of months... bc Im darn excited!
Ouchie.... times 100!!!
i have been in pain in my stomach for about a week now. I have also had diarhea for about 2 weeks now. I finally went to the dr the other day and he suspected I had a bacterial infection.... I went back 2 days later for the tests and NOPE. No infections to be found. He put me on prilosec for acid reflux. I am to take it once a day for 6 weeks and after 6 weeks i can take it as needed. if it starts to hurt worse or doesnt get better, then they will test my gallbladder. We shall see.. I have just been sick to my stomach and it was just awful. I hate being sick to my stomach. and worse... Im tired. i cant sleep at night. I seem to be waking up at 3m everyday... that must be my new wake up time??? *sigh*.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Well, Im behind...
Well.. Im a little behind on my "Today Im Thankful" posts. Lol.
I have been having pains in my stomach and last night was the worst. Im not doubling over w/ pain... but its annoying pain-lol. It is gone as Im typing this. Depending on what I eat, it comes and goes. I am debating wether or not to go to the dr tomorrow... we shall see.
So today.. .Im thankful for....
tv... a comfy bed.... and books to read...
while im laid up in bed.
I have been having pains in my stomach and last night was the worst. Im not doubling over w/ pain... but its annoying pain-lol. It is gone as Im typing this. Depending on what I eat, it comes and goes. I am debating wether or not to go to the dr tomorrow... we shall see.
So today.. .Im thankful for....
tv... a comfy bed.... and books to read...
while im laid up in bed.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
day 6
Today I am thankful for...
My friends.
I am greatful to have amazing friends who will be by my side no matter what. I have met a great deal of people online through chat rooms and message boards and they are just as good of friends, if not better, than my "in person" friends (not all of ya'll!) I thank God for the people He has put into my life, and back into my life after many of years. (You know who ya are!)
Everyone needs friends, esp women. We vent and complain alot and we need good friends who will be there to listen. Lol.
Thanks guys!
My friends.
I am greatful to have amazing friends who will be by my side no matter what. I have met a great deal of people online through chat rooms and message boards and they are just as good of friends, if not better, than my "in person" friends (not all of ya'll!) I thank God for the people He has put into my life, and back into my life after many of years. (You know who ya are!)
Everyone needs friends, esp women. We vent and complain alot and we need good friends who will be there to listen. Lol.
Thanks guys!
Friday, November 5, 2010
day 5
Today I am thankful for....
my house. Yes, it might be tiny and need work-but its our home. Its keeps us warm and safe, esp during this weather
my house. Yes, it might be tiny and need work-but its our home. Its keeps us warm and safe, esp during this weather
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Day ummm 4??
Today I am thankful for my family. Without them, I wouldnt be who I am today. I wouldnt have the love and support of a great family!! They have stood by my side no matter what and have loved me no matter what :) Thank you God for them!!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Day 3
Today I am thankful for....
my wonderful husband Travis Bennett. Its been a great 4 years and I love him more and more each day. We have been through alot together, and I thank God everyday for a Christian man to be by my side.
I know I am way more than any husband should handle. That I am extreme-LOL. He is sooo good to me and im sooo thankful :)
my wonderful husband Travis Bennett. Its been a great 4 years and I love him more and more each day. We have been through alot together, and I thank God everyday for a Christian man to be by my side.
I know I am way more than any husband should handle. That I am extreme-LOL. He is sooo good to me and im sooo thankful :)
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Day 2
Day 2
Today I am thankful for Gods plan in our lives.
Yes, we might have a plan for ourselves, and it may or may not work out that way. But be thankful and greatful knowing that God has a GREAT and WONDERFUL plan for you-and you just may not know it yet ;)
Today I am thankful for Gods plan in our lives.
Yes, we might have a plan for ourselves, and it may or may not work out that way. But be thankful and greatful knowing that God has a GREAT and WONDERFUL plan for you-and you just may not know it yet ;)
Monday, November 1, 2010
Giving up? or Moving On??
Either way you look at it, its hard.
Giving up- means letting go..
Moving on- means moving foward with a different dream...
It has been my dream as long as I can remember to be a mother. No, it was not my dream to be pregnant, to give birth and then be a mother. It was to be a mother.
No, Im techincally not giving up on my dream....Im just moving forward w/ my dream-to be a mother. I WILL be a mother... one way or the other. I will have my baby, one way or the other. God will bless us very soon-and Im thankful for that.
So.. No... Im not giving up.. Im moving on. Im moving forward.. .and I have new dreams now... new hopes.. new future.
Giving up- means letting go..
Moving on- means moving foward with a different dream...
It has been my dream as long as I can remember to be a mother. No, it was not my dream to be pregnant, to give birth and then be a mother. It was to be a mother.
No, Im techincally not giving up on my dream....Im just moving forward w/ my dream-to be a mother. I WILL be a mother... one way or the other. I will have my baby, one way or the other. God will bless us very soon-and Im thankful for that.
So.. No... Im not giving up.. Im moving on. Im moving forward.. .and I have new dreams now... new hopes.. new future.
Nov 1.... Day 1
Starting on Nov 1-until Thanksgiving... I will post daily-one thing that I am thankful for...
Today I am thankful for my salvation.
Im thankful that Jesus died on the cross for my sins, our sins, so that we might have everlasting life.
Im so greatful that I was saved many years ago... and that God has been with me and by my side everyday.
These past 3 and 1/2 yrs have been very hard on me, my husband, my family and on my faith. I feel that I have kept the faith and that God has stood by my side no matter what.
I thank God everyday for coming into my heart.
Today I am thankful for my salvation.
Im thankful that Jesus died on the cross for my sins, our sins, so that we might have everlasting life.
Im so greatful that I was saved many years ago... and that God has been with me and by my side everyday.
These past 3 and 1/2 yrs have been very hard on me, my husband, my family and on my faith. I feel that I have kept the faith and that God has stood by my side no matter what.
I thank God everyday for coming into my heart.
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