Monday, September 6, 2010

"I know how you feel...."

Yes, but do you REALLY??

How many times have you heard this?? (Not just with infertility but w/ life in general)

Yes, you may know how hard it is to see a neg test every month, or how bad you yearn for a baby....


but do you really feel the pain??

When I give myself a shot daily-do you feel it going into your skin as well? Do you flinch just a little bit bc it burns?

When I see a spot of blood, does your heart sink? Because mine sure does.

When I have to talk to complete strangers (drs and nurses) about how many times my husband and I have intercourse, do you feel the embarassement flush across your face as well??

When I felt like I was dying when my eggs were retreaved, did you feel that too?? bc it sure hurt.

When my heart feels like its in a million peices from it not working that month, does your heart ache too?? It may ache for me, but not in the same sense as mine (and Trav's)

When I have the tiniest bit of hope, and it gets shattered, do you feel that frustration and failure as well??


Yes, i know you might seem good by saying " I know how YOU feel" but sometimes... think about. Do you really know how I feel?? I mean, yes, you know how you felt-and yes, the pain is real and its the same, Im not saying its not. But when I experience failure, or hurt, do YOU feel it too??

No, Im NOT trying to be mean or sound hateful... this is my blog and I write my thoughts on here-and this is my thought.

Yes, I know that every single one of you will rejoice with me when I finally do fall pregnant and that's awesome to have that love and support. but if you really dont know how i feel-please dont tell me :) Its hard, its really hard, to explain how I feel. Its humiliating and embarassing to me-and I HATE that I have to go through this (as well as hating it for my friends and loved ones and those who are suffering through it as well)

Please know I love each one of you and that I know you are there for me for support, and like I said, I was NOT saying this make people upset or feel bad... its just my thoughts...


My next post will be more upbeat :)

3 comments:

  1. I try not to use the "I know how you feel" phrase, because I had people use it after Bailey's death and it made me so angry. I do tell people "I understand" (if I do), because I do in so many ways (I know...preaching to the choir here) understand.

    I wish I didn't have to understand what it's like to go through infertility. I wish I didn't have to understand this heartache. But, I do, and I'm here for you if you ever need to talk.

    (((HUGS)))!!!

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  2. Thanks Danae: I know you understand. I hate that you understand, but I know you do. I appreciate it :) Im praying so hard for you-for us-to get this!

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  3. "I know how you feel" :) ha ha... I know the pain that infertility brings me... and I know how embarrasing it is and how disappointing it is to have your heart break every month... I know how hard it is to hear someone say "I know how you feel" or compare their situation. I do not know your exact pain... and I know that you do not know mine. I hate that you are going through all of this. And yes, when you text me with bad news, my heart does ache for you. More than once I have had tears for you because I hate that you are feeling the same pain that I am. I pray for you every day, for all of us. I understand, and I am always here when if need me! If I could do anything to save you another heartache, believe me, I would.

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